I am...a diet failure

Yes a failure. I won't even give myself the yo-yo moniker. I can't...I don't ever lose enough to be a yo-yo.
In high school I was a svelt 110 pounds. I was that weight from probably the end of my sophmore year on. I was a dancer when I was young so I was always proud of my shapely legs and tiny waist. Vain, no...just very happy with myself. My older brother's friends always found it funny to wrap a belt around my waist and mark it. Then wrap it around their thighs to see who's was closest. That was a real ego boost for me! My measurements in those fab days were 34-23-36. Yes a bit hippy, but I loved my ass and my curves! (but damn would I give almost anything for that hip measurement now!)

Then I got married, and instead of putting on the freshman 15 at college, I put on the newlywed 40. Then came kids, and divorce...stacking on another 40. I lost a bit after the divorce...when I was looking for a new man. I got back down to 176 (again, I'd love to be there now). Then met Kelly, and packed it all back on again. That's what I get for marrying a guy who loves to cook and has a high metabolism. Ouch. I was 197 on my wedding day, and have since gained even MORE.

I'm now tipping the scales at 217. I'm not a good dieter...I totally admit that. I don't have excuses like my kids are picky, or Kelly cooks bad things, or I don't have time to exercise. I mean I have those excuses sure, but they're are not the reasons I'm the weight that I am. The reason would be that I'm just lazy. I don't have the willpower I need to put forth a good weight loss effort. Yes, I take Zumba classes twice a week. But Zumba alone can not transform an overweight body. There needs to be nutritional changes, and additional activity. I KNOW this. I was a certified fitness instructor for cryin out loud. I have all the books. It's just implementing the knowledge that I have, that seems to be the problem.

So sadly, I'll take all 217 fu*#ing pounds to the beach with me. What I won't be taking...is a bathing suit. It'll be sundresses on the beach for me, and shorts & a tank at the pool if needed. I won't put anyone else through the embarrassment of looking at me this way. And I certainly won't put myself through that kind of torture.