So Sorry!

Yep...it's the holidays!  I'm crazy busy and time for blogging just isn't presenting itself!  I promise I will update soon....thank you to those of you who have mailed in your competition money and your updated weigh in's.  I'm thinking of extending the contest into the new year a bit farther.  Turning it into a new year new you type thing.  Because let's face it...dieting through the holidays really does suck!  But your losses or gains here will affect your overall percentage...so no binging!

Thanks for bearing with me...and spread the word if anyone else wants to join for the new year! 

updated week 2!

I heard back from quite a few people, so I'll update results before tomorrow's weigh in.  Sadly...I am no longer on top of the leader board.  But congrats to wtf who takes over!!!

wtf-         -2.27% (awesome!!)
pixiestc-  -1.85%
gmguy-   -1.64%
as-           -1.50%
plm-        -1.23%
mf-          -1.14%
jac-          - .89%
ls-            - .84%
lostsoul     0%
tc               0%
chickencrazy- no weigh in

My weeks have been pretty crazy...so I apologize for the lack of posts.  You all are doing a great job!  I've found that if Kelly isn't home...I'll eat whatever I can find.  If you are like that with your evenings, here's a link to some Freezer Friendly dinners you can make ahead and reheat for a crazy or lazy night.

I'm all about resistance bands.  They're cheap, portable and the workouts can be done in a flash and pretty much anywhere.  Here's a band workout I found that's quick and an all over toner.  It has the potential to be a favorite!

I've been a total slacker this week.  My schedule has not allowed for any of my normal classes.  Hailey was sick Monday, so I had to skip Zumba.  Kelly's Mgr. party was Tuesday so I missed spin.  I DID however only drink water at the party...big ups to me!!  Wednesday was tap, but it was low key and I can't even consider it a workout.  Tonight I have Hailey's choir concert so my Zumba classes are cancelled.  I have a voracious appetite, and only seem to want deliciously unhealthy things.  My tooth is real achey as well...I think it's my sweet tooth, and I broke it...lol.

Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the weigh in tomorrow.  I believe the scale will punish me for my wicked ways this week.  Just means I'll have to bust my ass to lose it all and then some next week! 

Week 2!

So I have been more than a little crazy busy and pre-occupied.  So my posts have not been as frequent as I would like.  Hopefully I'll be able to change that and get things going again.  However!  I do have the results from this week.  There a few that I haven't gotten a weigh in from yet, but I'll update this post as they remember to email me...lol.  So here's the rundown, totals are for combined loss:

pixiestc:       -1.85%
as:                -1.50%  (great job!)
mf:               -1.14%
Jac:               -.89%
Las               -.84%
tc:                  0
chickencrazy   no weigh in yet
wtf                   no weigh in yet
lost soul           no weigh in yet
plm                  no weigh in yet
gmguy             no weigh in yet

As i said...I'll update this post as you all have your 'oh shit i didn't email' moment...lol.

This week will be just as crazy with Christmas party's (IHOP mgr party at Dave & Busters on Tuesday will be a trip!) School concerts, and the ever present trips to and from the studio.  I did not log well this week at all.  I'll try to remedy that this week, as it really does keep me accountable.  My big goal for this week is to get all my water in.  The party Tuesday will be a challenge, but since it's with so many people I don't know, and I'm the DD, it shouldn't be hard to stick to only water.  NO SODA!!  That's my focus for the party....no soda.  Hopefully if I tell Kelly ahead of time, he'll help me stay on track.  I'll post again later with some good workout links that I came across in my always handy magazines. 

Stay positive, and fit those workouts in!        

Week 1

Here are the results for week 1!

pixiestc:  -1.38%
mf:          -1.14%
chickencrazy: -1.02%
Jac:          -0.55%
Plm:         -0.50%
as:            +0.27%
tc:              0
gmk:          0

I did lose 2 pounds, but unfortunately gained 5 over the weekend.  Hello there discouragement, nice to see you again.  Hailey's birthday tripped me up a bit, but I can't blame the whole binge on that.  It was simply my lack of self control.  But I'm back on the wagon now.  I reserved myself a spot in Sarah's Zumba class tonight, so my workout is locked.

Here are my stats from last week:
Workout days: 4
Target calorie days: 3  (days that I was within my calorie range)
Perfect pen days: 3   (days that I wrote everything down successfully)
Water mark days: 4 (days that I drank at least 64ozs of H2O)

The weight loss formula is simple.  Expend more calories than you take in.  Here is a link to a calculator to help you determine what calorie number you should be aiming for.  There are lots of more detailed formulas for finding out how many calories you should be consuming.  A little web searching can pull them up if you want more information.

For some tips on how to make it through the holidays, and still find your waistline, check out Fitness Magazines 25 tips to Fat Proof Your Holidays.   Today's workout post is for your booty.  Try these burners to maximize your holiday rear view.

It's your last opportunity to join the competition!  If you're interested let me know, and I'll get you added in!

checking in

I know I've lost some, but I'm afraid to step on the home scale.  We shall see tomorrow!  Friday marks the next weigh in.  So if you gave me a start weight, tomorrow's weigh in will show your current percentage.  If you have NOT given a start weight...well, you are a slacker and need to send it to me tomorrow!!!   There are a quite a few of you (oh like, SIX) who said you wanted to join who I haven't heard from yet!  It's definitely not too late to start!  So email me, facebook me, text me or reply to this post with your starting numbers.  Let's rock this!

Tonight's workout...well it's my Zumba class of course!  So if you're not doing anything, come join me at 7:30 at Medina Centre for Dance Art to get a calorie burner workout on!  It's a perfect way to prep for a morning weigh in!  The drop in price is $10.00 or you can pick up the rest of the session for 7.50 a class.

As always, my days are calorie conscious and right on the money.  It's when I get home that it tends to fall apart.  So I'll be looking for ways to battle the evening munchies.  It's mostly mindless...I'm not hungry...just like to munch while watching TV.

Anyone have any thoughts or tips on how to combat this?

I'll have more tips and a workout tomorrow.  Hope your weigh in is good to you!

Let's try again...

I didn't get a workout in yesterday, because the Zumba class I was going to attend was FULL and I couldn't get in.  Total bummer!!  So I shall try again this evening.  I called and reserved 2 bikes at the 6:30 spin at Medina Tone.  Yes...2 BIKES.  NO, not because my ass is that big (although it's close).  Kelly will be joining me tonight!  It will be his first spin class, and he said he wanted to try one.  So I got us in, and hopefully it will be a permanent class in the rotation.  I think he'll enjoy it, once he gets past the seat pain...lol. 

I'm trying to log everything again, as that usually helps me greatly.  It's almost shocking to see your calorie intake when you write it down and tally it up at the end of the day.  Every program I've ever read about says that keeping track is an integral part of the weight loss process.  It's a surefire accountability technique.  So I made this adorable tracking sheet, and have decided to share it with you!  Unfortunately, I'm a bit tech challenged and can't figure out how to get it on here.  So, I'll send it to you via email when you get me your start weight...*insert evil laugh*.  Those of you who have already submitted...check your mail for the log sheet!

Here we Go!

I've only been contacted by a couple of you with your starting weights and choice of username (if you want one)  If you have not given a username, I'll just use your initials.  Of course I won't post until Friday...with your up/down for the week.  So If you haven't contacted me yet...Please do so at pixiestc@yahoo.com.  I need starting weight and your choice of username.

I'm officially on Detox.  I ate myself silly in the name of my Birthday and Thanksgiving.  Those actions ballooned my weight up to 217.  My body is rebelling and my joints are not happy with me.  So I need to focus on the competition here!

Tonight I think I will be hitting the Zumba class at Medina Tone at 5:15.  I'm actually craving a workout.  I came across an article in one of my mags called The Couch Workout.  Check it out for some great excercises you can do while catching up with the DVR!!

Everyone has heard of the Bucket List.  I myself, have a Bucket Book.  I made my list into a scrapbook to be filled with the photos of myself completing each page.  I have recently heard of people making fitness Bucket Lists.  To me, this sounded incredibly motivational.  I have some fitness related goals in my Bucket Book, but I was thinking of doing a separate mini Fitness book.  Having a book or a list of goals that don't have anything to do with weight loss would definitely put a different spin on things.  If I'm busy working on the goals in the book, the weight would just naturally come off.  Certainly something to ponder... 

3 of Mine?
1. Finish a 10K in good time
2. Take a Pole Fitness class
3. Run the Warrior Dash

What would be on your Fitness Bucket List?

The Competition is on!

I've heard back from some of you, and I'm up to 7 people (incuding myself) that are up for the weight loss challenge!  That's enough for me to get the ball rolling.  So, here's the deal:

We'll be starting on Black Friday.  Goodness knows I don't want to have to worry about weight loss over Thanksgiving dinner.  You're welcome.

*11/25 through 1/6, that's 6 weeks.
*$5.00 a person, highest percentage loss takes all.  You can turn Money in to me when you see me...
*email your weigh in to me each Friday.  Weights will not be posted, only the +/- for the week.  If you would like a user name used instead of your real name, let me know what you would like to use.
*I will post workouts that will use basic equipment, as well as classes that I will be in that you are welcome (and encouraged) to join me at.
*Posting on my blog is also encouraged!  If you're having problems, we can all support eachother.  I'll have all updates on my facebook page so you can comment there as well. 

Any and all suggestions are welcome!  Email me with your starting information, and I'll get everything set up.  ANYONE can join in!  Husbands / wives are welcome, as well as any of your friends that I may not know.  The more competition, the bigger the winnings!  So spread the word, and contact me to sign up!!  NOW!!!

Focus

I'm still feeling the effects of that Strength class on Saturday.  Which is a good thing.  I like being able to feel my workout, makes it seem worthwhile.  I actually fit in a quickie workout this morning as well.  Here's the link to the workout from this morning  11/14 AM workout.  I did make a few minor changes, but nothing that really tweaked the workout.  I liked it...the press to single tricep was a bit cumbersome, so I stuck with both arms...doing a reverse curl, to overhead press, to tricep extension...never changing hand position.  It was still challenging, while not being too heavy.  A 10 pound single tricep extension is a little heavy for me at this point.  All in all...I liked it, it was quick and I felt my arms did get a workout. 

I'll do some ab work during bathroom breaks today, and hopefully hit the treadmill tonight since Kelly is out of town.

Breakfast was skipped, as I didn't have anything proper to eat.  I have to go to the grocer to get something for lunch and I'm thinking chicken soup with crackers, and a piece of fruit...perhaps an apple.

This week is a crazy chaotic one.  If I can get myself and the kids to all the places we have to be, I'll be greatly impressed with myself!  And my birthday is this weekend!  I already have plans to meet my partner in crime, Piper, at JoJo's after the parade on Saturday.  Any of you who'd like to join me...I'd LOVE to see you!

A Saturday blog...what?!?!

I think this is the first time in a long time that I have actually sat down to blog on a Saturday.  That must mean I have something good to say, right?  Eh, maybe...lol.

So I went to the free Strength class at Medina Tone this morning.  It was EXACTLY what I was looking for!  There was no cardio, no froofy gimmicky stuff...just straight out strength with weights and a ball.  That alone will get me to buy a pass!  The staff at the door was very friendly and helpful, which is a far cry from my service at SHC.  She even set up my place on the floor while I changed my shoes!  Karen taught the class, and she was clear and concise in her explanation of every move.  Just when you thought you had no more and were ready to quit, you'd hear her voice, telling you not to give up, you were almost there.  It gave me just enough oomph to make it through the set.  The excercises were varied and there was just enough time spent on each muscle group to work it to fatigue and move on.  I highly reccommend this class!  I'm hoping to get back to the open house this afternoon to try the circuit class and check out some of the vendors.

As I was looking through my goody bag from the open house, I found a little slip of paper promoting what they are dubbing "25 days of Fitness".  it runs 11/28 - 1/2 and there is a cost of $25.00.  With registration you are eligible for extra classes, recipes, free December membership, special gifts and priority seating for a Christmas Eve Spin class.  For this, you must exercise 25 minutes or more for 25 of the 34 days, keep a weight and food journal, and weigh in with an employee once a week.  This seems like a great way to keep the weight in check through the food laden months of Nov. and Dec.  $25.00 is managable, but may be a little too much for some...but if you are interested in this challenge through Medina Tone, let me know!

If I make it to the the other class this afternoon...you can be sure to read all about it here!  Have a great Saturday!

I'm hungry.

yep...hungry.  I think maybe closer to bored hungry, but hungry all the same.  My saving grace..?  I'm at work.  So if I don't bring it, I don't eat it.  I've been good all day long.  I'm really trying here!  Lean pocket, Healthy Choice lunch, and a granola bar.  Add in the 4 Acai pills and I'm having a successful afternoon!  Only 4 1/2 glasses of water, but hey...I have Zumba tonight so I'll easily get the rest of them in.  So I'll type...to take my mind off the last 55 minutes until I have to face the real challenge.  The fridge at home....dun dun DUUNNNNN!!!  That's some daunting shit.  Cause I know what's in there.  Summer sausage and cheese that I successfully deleted from my lunch bag this morning.  I'm on my own for dinner as Kel is going to a farewell dinner for Juan, who is leaving for the KY store.  Ugghh...I dunno what I'll eat.  ...more than likely summer sausage and cheese.

I have 2 takers so far on my weight loss competition.  So the pot's already at $15 smackers.  C'mon people...Help a plus size sistah out!  I'll post workouts every week, post reccommended dvd's to rent from the library and keep track of all the stats.  I'll even plan outings we can go to get some extra activity in.  (still thinking about line dance lessons at Thirsty Cowboy...how can you NOT think that'll be fun!)  And I'm sure riding the mechanical bull will burn some extra cals...right Mary?? (Red cowboy hats not required, but certainly allowed.)

good grief...you could even reply to my blogs with what you did good or what you ate that day.  You just need to register...and if you need help with that...email me and I'll do it for you.

I would really like to make it through the Holidays without increasing my pants size, and I'm sure you guys would agree.  So hop on my bandwagon for cryin out loud!

Oh yeah, Medina Tone is having an open house Saturday...which means Free Classes!!!  Go to their site, www.medinatone.com and click on events for a detailed schedule for the day.  I'll be starting at the strength class at 7:30am and hitting classes through the morning.  Don't waste your Saturday morning...come workout with me so I'm not lonely and get a jump on the competition...PLEEAASSEE?!?!?!?!

hmm...look at that...only 43 minutes left.  Go me!

I think I need competition

ok...the scale is steadily creeping back up and I'm Freakin' out here!  I may need some incentive to make me put down the cupcake and pick up the dumbell.  I need a competition.  I need stakes (not steaks).  I need something to win that's materialistic and tangible.  Hmm.  I obviously need help, as a competition requires more than one person.  But who of you reading this is willing to commit with me?  It'll be a percentage loss a'la Biggest Loser (which I don't watch, btw).  Totally a cash prize.  Everyone puts in $5, and the biggest percentage loss by 1/31/12 gets the pot.  3 months.  Simple enough.  But I need enough people to make it worth while. 

$5 is chump change, I know anyone reading this can afford it.  But will you commit?  Will you HELP me??  Will you help YOURSELF?  It would have to be honor based, as I don't think I could get all involved to meet for a weigh in...lol.  Or maybe I could, who knows.  But you could email your weight, and weekly losses to me, and I'll post them here...only using usernames instead of real ones if you wish.

I need the help, and I'm asking anyone I can think of.  Will you join me?

email me at pixiestc@yahoo.com if you have some interest...please!  I'm getting desperate here!!

365 days....full circle

Today's the day.  I've been curious on how I'd reflect on it.  Surprisingly, it's a bit anti-climactic.  It was one year ago today that my world was rocked to it's core.  November 7th 2010 was the day that Kelly decided that he needed time, space or whatever it was and moved out of our house.  I woke up this morning and reached into my memory to capture those feelings.  There they were, unmistakably fresh and painful.  It took 7 months for him to go through whatever it was he was going through.  And I waited, stood firmly by his side and hoped beyond hope that he, that we, would emerge from the darkness and uncertainty.  We did, and we still are.  There are still times that I find myself incredibly jealous of who knows what.  My self esteem and confidence took a HUGE blow through this.  And I'm still recovering from that.  Kelly is getting back to man I fell in love with.  He seems to have pulled a complete 180 in the last month or so.  It's almost hard to believe.  He and Alyson are getting along so great, and Hailey seems to be coming around as well.  What have I learned through all this...?

1. Find someone to lean on...  My sister in law Deb was my rock, my sanity and my guardian angel.  I know that I could never have made it through without her, and I only hope that I can show her the proper gratitude for that one day.

2. Trust Yourself...  I had friends tell me to give ultimatums, set an end date, make him decide.  I kept coming back to 'he's my husband, not my boyfriend'.  I took a vow.  You can kick a boyfriend to the curb much easier than a husband.

3. Marriage is not easy...  If only more people realized that before they got married.  When I said 'better or worse' I meant it.  He was and is worth fighting for...

4. He needed me to fight...  Kelly needed to know that I was in his corner, rooting him on and waiting for him to come home to me.  He is now more confident in my love than ever before, and knows he can count on me.

5. The kids know...  As much as I tried to hide it, my girls knew what was going on.  That made it hard for Kelly to be home.  They tried not to, but they showed it in their actions that they were on my side.  They did not like the fact that I was sad, and he was the reason.  Alyson has forgiven, and Hailey is on her way.  But they were hurting just like I was, and I needed to be more sensitive to that.

Above all else...it takes time...   Such blows to a marriage and a psyche can be deep and painful.  They don't mend overnight.  Kelly and I are still healing, but the key is, we ARE healing.  There are some in my life that still don't treat Kelly the same, weather they realize it or not.  He can sense it, as can I.  Our relationship isn't perfect, but it's back on the right track.  A year ago today, I cried for 16 hours straight and my eyes were swollen shut.  Today, I smile as I write this, knowing he'll be home to go grocery shopping with me tonight.  Full Circle Indeed.

1st food holiday over...

Ok then, Halloween is successfully over.  I have a ton of candy in my house that will undoubtedly call to me every waking moment.  On the bright side...my kids don't like to share.  So they hide the candy in their rooms so Kel and I can't get it.  That will work out nicely for me.  Last night told me one of two things...   either I am a total bitch, or my recent personal life inventory (don't worry, not posted here) was correct and quite insightful.  Or quite possibly both.  One thing's for sure...lesson learned.

So far I've mastered my food morning.  Of course, I'm always very good at work.  It's after work when my will power starts to flag.  It's Tuesday, so It should be an Abs/cardio day.  I've snuck in a few exercises here at work, and am hoping to hit the treadmill later.   But even if the tread doesn't happen...I can always do an ab workout in the floor tonight while chillin with Kel.  Maybe even get him to join me.  A partner in this would be oh so helpful. 

So here's me keeping my digits crossed that I can come through today with flying colors and dropping pounds!

November??

I'm reflecting...   and after said reflection I'm left with...

Holy Shit It's November?!?!

     Hmm...I was supposed to be half way to my goal by now.  Well that's disappointing.  No need to dwell on that though.  Might as well move on and deal with the present.  Which reminds me that I got the little gift to myself...my 15 minute workout book. Which is fantastic!  It has a ton of great workouts...and very few of them require equipment that I don't have.  I don't know if that means not a lot is required, or that I just have a lot of dusty workout equipment at home.  I'm going with the latter. 

     Since today is the last day of the month, I'm going to set aside some time to make a plan.  I'm going to set up a workout calendar for the next two weeks.  I was going to go with the next month...but I need to take smaller steps people.  My friend Lisa has decided that me dropping tap class is not acceptable, and has paid for my next session for me; a gesture that brought me to tears.  So I think I'll make Weds lower body.  Thursday is definitely cardio.  So that would make Monday upper.  Tuesday I'll throw in some treadmill work and an ab routine.  Sunday is my off day...so I need to figure Friday and Saturday.  Then the hard part...actually finding the time the add it to the schedule.  They're short workouts...so I actually get up when the alarm goes off, and not 'snooze', I should be ok.  But I reeaalllly like sleep.  I can make this work.

    Food...ahhh my old friend.  I shall not give you a makeover just yet.  I'll work on the workouts first, then tweak the food.  Like I said...baby steps.

     In other news...The engine is being delivered and Kel should have his car back this weekend.  Alyson's first Trinity performance of the season went relatively well.  Only 2 girls were in tears, Julia was clothed and had makeup for Zombies and Madison didn't hit the floor.  That's a success to me.  I love my dance family, and the dance mom's (and dad's!) are truely amazing people.  I can honestly say, I just adore the girls on the team.  They make me laugh and I would treat them as my own any day of the week...and I do.  The countdown is on to Black Friday, and that list is also starting.  I told Kel I was going out early...he laughed and said "no you're not, unless early is 9:00".  Apparently he's caught on to my fondness of sleep.

Here's to Novemeber!  Cheers!

Road Block!

Oy!  I have all these ideas, plans and such...and no idea how to utilize them...lol.  What I need to do is work exercise back into my life.  Since losing my classes...I've all but quit physical activity all together....owie.  So, I need to figure out how to work it back in.

1. Get a home schedule going
   Pros: I can work around my schedule.
            There can be as much variety as I want.
           No one to gawk at me.

   Cons: With no accountability, workouts are easy to blow off.
             I usually slack off with no one to keep me in check.

2. Use the gym membership I currently have.
   Pros: It's paid for
            It's available on my lunch break.
            I can seclude myself in the aerobic room

   Cons: They make me uncomfortable there.
             I won't use the weights alone.         
            
3. Hire a trainer
    Pros: They keep me motivated
             Workouts are constantly varied
             They are professional and know their stuff

   Cons:  Um  hello...Expensive.

4. Find a Workout buddy and get creative.
    Pros: Motivation to do the workout and not slack
             Confidence booster and confidant.
             Variety abounds

    Cons: Finding a buddy
              finding a buddy that works with my schedule

I guess for the time being I'll just try to force myself to work the workouts in.  I'll get my own workouts and head to the gym for Zumba practice for cardio...and add my own strength routine in the big room.  Being there, at least, makes me feel like working out.  If I can get this whole Finding Fitness thing going, that would be fun.  I'm trying to gather people right now for the Line Dancing class at Thirsty Cowboy.  I have some that said they would...but not enough for my liking.  Maybe I'll just have to grab Jill & Chris and the three of us will hit it. Oh April, Piper, Jen, Mary, Linda, Amy...?   I know you're reading this....Will you join us.....??

stand back...I'm about to blow

Please pardon my rant for the following few lines...

Sooo....The gym cancelled my Tuesday class.  Now this does not surprise me.  What does surprise me the immature, unprofessional low blow that Miss Heather Suratt took when she told me about the cancellation.  And I quote..."That's fine. I will take it off the schedule for Tuesdays.  I haven't been real happy with how u have interacted with the staff lately anyway."

Wait just a damn minute.  Let's go back here...way back to the beginning.  There was one...ONE ad that was placed advertising new Zumba at the gym.  I had to buy the big f'ing banner and then Nicole had to LIE to get me reimbursed for it.  No other advertising was ever done.  All facebook posts were put up by ME.  I got email addresses for all my clients and updated them.  The gym did NOTHING to help with that.  My clients often complained to me how rude the staff was and that they were treated like they were stupid.  Then when my numbers were down (shocking...that's what happens with lack of advertising) they moved me to a different room.  A smaller room, with no doors, walls that didn't go to the ceiling, and right across from the Doc's office.  I tried to tell them it was a bad idea...but who the hell am I to know. 

I lost clients because the doors were open and they didn't want to shake it Zumba style for everyone to gawk at...which they DID.  My first class...I was told...oh yeah there's an adapter for your ipod, no problem.  WRONG...I had to cancel the class because their 'adapter' didn't work.  I bought my own sound system...only to find that I was fighting with gym noise because the room was f'ing open!  So I bought curtains to put up over the doorways so my clients could feel less self conscious.  By this time...3 had already dropped out and left because of staff, room, sound or what not.  AND THEN...they have the cubbies in this room...so all during class, people are walking in and out to get their keys, drop off stuff...irritating to say the least. 

Then Heather came in when I was leaving a class that no one showed up for and told me...We're getting rid of all the morning classes...then had ME contact people with the emails I was SMART enough to get.  To let them know that the classes were cancelled immediately.  No warning, no class till the end of the month.  She made me do the dirty work.  Last time I checked...I was not part of your precious staff.

It then got to the point that the trainers were leaving their shit all over the place.  Is it that hard to clean up after yourself?  I would come in, and there would be mats, bosu's, medicine balls, steps...just laying around.  So now I have to clean up the room that your 'staff' left a mess, so I can teach my class?  Then they made me turn the music down ...because it was too loud in the doc's office.  Hmm...didn't I f'ing warn you about that??  YES, yes I did.  And you just come into the middle of the class and tell me to turn it down?  Do you not get that the Music is an integral part of a Zumba class?  my words to her were "I'll think about it".  So yes, you're right...I guess I treated your staff, rudely.  Bitch.

Whoo...well I feel better.  On a lighter note...I ordered a book!  A book of 15 minute workouts from Women's Health.  I'll do them, share them, and then rate them.  I can find 15 minutes a day, surely!

This fresh start feels stale already... :)

Oh joy!  Another Monday and another renewed vow of success!  hmmph...how many times can you make that vow before you become a walking hypocrite?  Nevertheless...Here we go!

Just some tidbits from the weekend...

~I certainly AM my own biggest obstacle...time to tear this bitch down!  (thank you Jen!  xo)
~There are people that garner a certain type of inspiration or commraderie from my posts. (thank you April! xo)
~Zombies look like zombies for a reason...they are dead and have been decaying for years.  (Dance moms...I know you'll understand)
~Enjoy being the 'cool' mom/aunt/sister/cousin while you can...cause sometimes it just doesn't last.
~Money really needs to start growing on trees...right next to the dance shoe bush.
~Candy Corn is evil.
~Spouses are wonderful, but they are not perfect.  Embrace their imperfections, and work around them.
~Workouts may be hard, inconvenient and tough to fit in...but that's why they're call workouts. 

Exercise will be tough to squeeze in this week as it's watch week at MCDA.  I love to go watch...just as much as I love to see my fellow dance mom's that I've grown to adore and form a sisterly bond with over the past 9 years.  I need to get these moms on board the Big Pixie Fitness train.  I think line dancing at the new Thirsty Cowboy would be a fantastic night out / workout blast! 

I even made myself a logo with the help of my amazing co-worker Shane!  What do you think?

yes. I suck.

let me start off with....bllluuahhahhhh.  Yeah, it's that kind of week.  I stopped watching what goes into my mouth, and I've only exercised, oh wait...I haven't exercised at all this week.  My body is not happy about it, yet not to the point that I'm ready to jump back on the wagon just yet.  Kelly's car needs $4000 worth of work, so I'm cutting out any non essential spending.  So my tap class will go by the wayside, the thought of joining Curves has been shelved, as well as going back to Sarah's Zumba class.  If I'm gonna make this work I'm gonna have to do it on my own.  which I totally suck at.  Time to go through the DVD collection at home and see how I can force myself to workout alone.  Early morning is really my only option.  But Since Alyson is up at 6 and getting ready, I would need to invest in a new DVD player for the down room...so I don't interfere with her getting ready in the up room.  Again...spending of money that is not currently available.  But I have to do something.  The me that I currently am...I'm not so proud of. 

My will(s)

I WILL remember my victory over McDonalds today.
I WILL remember why I'm doing this to begin with.
I WILL do this for me and no one else.
I WILL treat food like fuel, not fun (well ok, most of the time)
I WILL go all out in workouts and not half ass them.
I WILL do a pole dancing class.  (yeah...I'm sexy)
I WILL get right back up when I stumble.  (even if I temporarily lose consciousness from a food coma)
I WILL not let other people dictate my decisions.
I WILL not have a McFlurry tonight.  (boo.)
I WILL honestly try to nix the late night snacking.
I WILL listen to Alyson when she says "No mom" (God bless that child and her iron food fist.)
I WILL start lifting weights at home again.
I WILL work my abs again (do a few crunches at tap class and I'm quickly reminded of how much I'm slacking)
I WILL be TRUTHFUL when I track my calories (uhh yeeaaaahhh...)
I WILL be more diligent in posting progress pics (let's face it...if there's no progress, why bother?)
I WILL LOSE THIS DAMN WEIGHT.  period.  no excuses.  no alternative.

I have...an....ide-a...

I woke up this morning with an idea just racing through my head.  So I better get it down before I forget it.  I come up with hairbrained ideas every once in a while.  Most of the time they fizzle out before I think about them twice.  This one seems like it might be cool though.  Bear with me here...as I still have a hard time making it sound right in my head...

I have this thought of a fitness 'club' or group type idea.  A group of people that meet once or twice a month to try something new and different.  There would be a fee...maybe 5 bucks a person.  Then we'd use that money to rent a room (fitness appropriate flooring and such) and pay for an instructor to come in and lead us in a class.  For example, Bellydance, linedance, Kettlebell, Yoga, Pilates...then go from there and see what kind of crazy class format we can come up with next.  Maybe even alternate classes with speakers on nutrition, life coaching, fitting in fitness for busy moms or meditation.  Is any of this making sense?  If we find a format we really like, we can always do repeats.  The more I talk about it, the more excited I get about it.  It'd be a support group of sorts...lol.  Even for those of us who don't need to lose weight, it would be a good excuse to get out of the house and be with friends....and try something NEW!

So what do you think?  respond here...or email me, or message me on facebook.  I would REALLY like input on this, or let me know if you'd be interested in joining me.  We'd have to think of a super cool name for ourselves too...

oh boy.

Well I went and did it...I told the world of Facebook about my weight loss and my blog.  Am I freakin nuts??  Well yes, that's a given.  But hell, nothing else has worked, so why not let everyone see me.  That way failure would be that much more mortifying.  hehe.  Good thing there's no camera at my desk to see the Taco Bell, Fritos, Pepsi and cupcake sitting here.  Hey, I'll totally start tomorrow....totally... 

At least I have my Zumba class to teach tonight...that'll work some snackage off.  But (butt) seriously...I'm ready to try some new stuff.  I may wander around Medina and see what kind of new and interesting exercise classes I can find.  There's gotta be something new around here, right?  Pole dancing classes, lap dance aerobics and strip tease are coming soon to Wadsworth...and you KNOW I have to check those out!  There's some new classes at my local gym too.  I've been putting off going cause I'm not the 'gym rat' type that takes them.  But hell...maybe I can inject a little lunacy into their well regimented structure! 

Now that'll be something to write about....  : p

Pattern...

After waking up to a 1.5 gain, I can finally see the benefits tracking so diligently.  I have finally found a pattern.  It's an obvious one, yes.  But seeing that my hypothesis is proven correct, maybe it will help me to make adjustments.  I notice that I have a gain in the morning if I eat after 8:00.  Yes, of course anything you read will tell you this.  But seeeing the results in real life makes it a bit more believeable.  It doesn't even matter if it's not a big calorie intake...my body just doesn't process as well after 8pm.  So now let's see if I can put that knowledge to pratical use.  I did not go to my tap class last night, as I wanted to spend time with Kelly.  I cancelled plans to be with him.  Would he do the same for me?  ...well he's proven that he won't, but we know how to open communication lines now, so maybe we can address that??

10/5:
9:40 - Hydroxycut
11:30 - Lean Pocket b'fast sandwich (260)
3:55 - Hydroxycut
4:25 - HC chedd bacon chicken (240)
7:00 - Hamburger Helper Crunchy Taco (450)
9:00 - Fritos (200)

TOTAL: 1150
H2O - 6

Yay! A good loss!

So according to the scale, my new friend, I lost 5 pounds since last Weds. weigh in.  So Happy!!  That puts me back down to where I feel like I should technically be starting...lol.  It's not back to my lowest, but if I stay on track, I'll be back down there in no time, and well on my way to goal number 1 of 197, which is the weight I was when we got married.  That's a loss of 24 since my highest weight.  I can see it, so now I need to focus and stay the course.

10/3:
9:10 - Hydroxycut
9:55 - Lean Pocket b'fast sandwich (260)
2:40 - Hydroxycut
3:10 - Healthy Choice Chedd Bacon Chick (240)
4:40 - Snackwell shortbread cookie pack (100)
5:30 - Zumba! (45m -400)
7:10 - Turkey Cheddar Sausage 2 (240)
8:05 - Fruity Cheerios & skim Milk (300)  (I ate this cause I was hungry and realized I was low on calories)

TOTAL: 740
H2O-7

Up down up down

I'm a yo yo today...an emotional yo yo.  I've been up down and run every emotional gamut possible.  Right now...I'm sitting at 'stable'.  I have new teaching prospects on the horizon, which is always good.  And found a fitness class centered gym opening by my work...they have Pole Classes!!  I am super psyched about this!  I ate like crap yesterday, and didn't get a workout in, but maybe not as bad as I think, as I still lost a pound.  Tomorrow is the official weigh in day, so we'll see what happens.

10/3:
8:54 - Hydroxycut
9:24 - Lean Pocket B'fast Sandwich (260)
2:36 - Hydroxycut
3:15 - Homestyle Chicken noodle soup (140)
          5 Saltine crackers (70)
4:04 - Snackwell shortbread cookies (100)
7:00 - Banana Bread (400)
8:45 - Fruity Cheerios & Milk (400)
8:30 - Coke (120)  damn...off the wagon

TOTALS: 1510
H2O-5

Not too bad

The weekend was survived...and I came out of weighing the same as I went into it.  So ther in and of itself is a victory.  I had grand plans to hit Sarah's Zumba class tonight, only to find that there is no class this week.  So now I'm left to find a workout on my own.  Unfortunately, I know how that generally goes.  But maybe tonight will be different, maybe I'll find the will to pop in a DVD and bust out a workout.  But honestly, if I can get through with my eating on track...I'll chalk it up in the win column

Day 5 (oh I think my day numbers are off...)

Had a lovely lunch with Kelly yesterday, and certainly worked it off at the 3 Zumba classes last night.  Had 2 new ladies come and sign up for the session...bringing it to a consistant 6...with 2 more coming when their football / church choir commitments are up.  We had a ton of fun and got a good sweat on!  Even with the pizza and eating late...I still managed to lose 2!

9/29:
7:40 - Fruity Cheerios & Skim Milk (230)
12:12 - Newton Fruit Crisps (110)
3:30 - Marie's Pizza with Kelly <3  (3pc 900)
5:30 - ZumbAtomic 45m (-150)
6:30 - ZumbAtomic 45m (-150)
7:30 - Zumba! 50m (-500)
9:00 - Mini Wheats & Skim Milk (310)

H20 - 8
TOTAL - 750

All in all...not too shabby.  I just hope I can keep it together this weekend!

Day 4 - late night strikes back

My class was cancelled yesterday...and all my morning classes were then cancelled by the gym.  So that put a sour note on my day.  However, I knew I had tap class so I didn't let it sabotage my eating for the day.  ...Until 9:00 rolled around and I was hungry and added my calories and realized a bowl of cereal wouldn't hurt.  Well the combo of cereal and 9pm did hurt...I ended up gaining 2 pounds.  You can't tell...but I am absolutely seething about it.  So back to no late snacking...I'm getting frustrated and that's usually when I cave.  Kelly is coming to have lunch with me today, so I'll have to be careful with what I do.  However...it's my big cardio night, and I'll burn roughly 900 calories in these 3 hours.  So I can afford to splurge a bit.

9/28:
9:21 - Hydroxycut
9:55 - Lean Pocket B'fast sandwich (280)
1:17 - Hydroxycut
1:50 - Healthy Choice Chicken Bacon Ceddar meal (240)
3:45 - Sugar Free Jello Cup (10)
5:45 - Campbell's homestyle Chicken Noodle soup (170)
          4 Saltine Crackers (70)
6:15 - 2 Grands Biscuits (leftover from the girls' dinner yesterday 360) ouch
7:30 - Tap Class 45m (-200)
9:10 - Mini Wheats & skim milk (300) ouch again

H2O - 6
TOTAL: 1230 cals

Day 3...much Better!

I learned that workouts are the key to whether it's a good food day or a bad one.  If I can get a good workout it...I'm much more inclined to eat well and not ruin it.  If my workout gets cancelled...I kinda figure the day is a wash and eat whatever.  So I guess I need to figure out how to get a workout it no matter what!

9/27:
9:25 - Hydroxycut
10:10 - Lean Pocket Breakfast Sandwich (280)
12:20 - Hydroxycut
12:50 - Healthy Choice Chicken Bacon Cheddar meal (240)
1:30 - ZumbAtomic Demo at Overlook Elementary (80 min -300)
5:30 - Zumba (60min -500)
7:45 - Cheddar Turkey Sausage (2, 240)
          Salad (cheese, bb, croutons, sunflower seeds & Ranch 450)
          Crystal Light Pink Lemonade (2c 40)

TOTAL 450 (after workout calories are deducted)
H2O - 8 (yes!)

There was no late night snacking...I'm very proud of that.  Evening snacking is a huge achilles heel for me.  Especially since there are cupcakes in the house.  I stayed strong and won...and the scale rewarded me with a 2 pound loss!  Sweet!  And so far, I'm not missing my soda at all.  But we'll see what happens with the weekend...that's usually when I falter.

Day 2

I don't think I can completely count this as day 2, since I totally bombed day 1.

Anyway: 9/26
9:35 - Hydroxycut 1
2:00 - HC Cheddar Bacon Chicken (240)
4:00 - Sugar Free Jello Cup (40)
5:30 - 1/4 bag Chili Cheese Fritos (400)
6:30 - Mini Wheats & Milk (430)
7:00 - Cupcake (170)
7:10 - Spoonful of Frosting (150)
9:45 - Almond Tilapia (380)
          Green Beans 1/2c  (20)
          Rice 1/2 c  (180)
          Crystal Light (20)
TOTAL: 2030
No exercise (I knew it)
H2O-4

Shitty day.  Packing on pounds.  ick.

Week 1: Soda Detox Day:1

Wow...shitty diet weekend.  The scale says I gained 7 pounds in 3 days.  I'm in denial.  So first things first.  This week, I have to nix the soda.  It's by far the worst thing I'm doing right now.  High caloric value and sugar content make it a no brainer to eliminate.  I have weekly changes ready, and this is the first. 

No shows for my class this morning, so now I must figure a way to get my workout in...perhaps leave a smidge early and drop in at Sarah's class at 5:15?  I can't count on myself to do it alone, as that always falls through.  I feel more stressed today than I have in quite a long time.  shit.

I miss my Pepsi already.

Good Start!

I did awesome (I think) yesterday!  I even resisted the urge to eat a cupcake...I instead worked on my ZumbAtomic shirt for today.  Wednesdays are designated cardio days since I have Zumba and tap class.  Here's the rundown:

9:47    Hydroxycut
10:07  Fruity Cheerios & skim Milk (220)
10:30 Zumba 60m (-500)
1:50 Hydroxycut
2:40 Healthy Choice Chicken Bacon Cheddar (240)
4:25 Sugar Free Jello Cup (50)
6:10 Turkey Cheddar Sausage 2 (240)
        Salad (Ranch, cheese, sunflower seeds, bacon, croutons) (310)
        Crystal Light (20)
7:30 Tap Class 60m (-150)
9:00 Mini Wheats & Skim Milk (420)

TOTAL: 615
H2O-8 (yes!)

Zumba Warrior

So I'm getting my plan ready...thinking of inviting people to join me in the Warrior Dash as Zumba Warriors.  Fun!  So today I'm compiling my grocery list, and planning my menu for every day.  No guess work = No excuse to eat garbage.  Hopefully that works.  Also getting a workout plan for every day of week together as well.  The goal is to post what the plan is...and if it works...others can join me in my Zumba Warrior journey.  If no one wants to...then it's for my own personal logging and benefit.  I have all the tools to make this work, I just have to utilize them.  I've gained 5 pounds....and that's very frustrating.  But I also know why, so that means I can change it.

So here we go...the postings will start tomorrow.  Because I don't have them done today...lol.

The Warrior in Me!

I've come to the decision that if I don't have a force pushing me, I'm not gonna get anything accomplished.  So I've decided to run the Warrior Dash next year in Logan.  Am I crazy?...absolutely.  I'm hoping it'll make me realize if I don't start training and get my ass in gear...I just might die trying to run it.  Jumping fire, crawling under barbed wire, scaling walls and cargo nets, running through mud...I must train to do this.  Kel has said he'll train and run with me, and Abby said she'd do it with me as well. 

So now... I need to make a plan...schedule workouts and force myself to hit weights.  Cardio I obviously have covered...I'm teaching 4 classes a week (hope to add a 5th in Medina soon) plus ZumbAtomic.  But I don't like lifting...so I have to figure out how to force myself to do it....ugh.

So here we go...Let's get this thing started!

Holy Hell where's the Panic Button!

Someone Please take the food out of my hand!  Arg.  I'm having a bad body image day.  Whoa do I feel, um, large.  When will the madness end??  It's like I have hella good willpower and motivation for a week, then I fall off the wagon.  And well, I just enjoy food...lol.  If I could enjoy in moderation and not make a glutton of myself, it could be manageable.  But I just eat and eat.  The weigh in will not be pleasant tomorrow.  HELP!!

Yesterday...(brace yourself)

9:30 Zumba (60m -500)
10:50 Special K Protein Shake (180)
1:30 Hydroxycut
2:20 HC Cheddar Bacon Chicken (240)
5:40 Banana Bread (a lot...700)
6:30 Hostess cupcake (220)
8:30 Pierogies (6-340)
9:30 banana bread (280)
pop - (300)
H2O - 5
TOTAL CALS 1760  (thank goodness I did Zumba)

Thankfully it's Tuesday!

Oh my...I'm not to be trusted to be alone...lol.  My kids and hubby were away this weekend, and apparently so was my willpower!  There will be no menu posting today.  Let's just say that there was Taco Bell, Wendy's and Dominics Pizza in my weekend.  I binged...and I semi enjoyed it.  But a quick hop on the scale is all the reminder I need to get back to the good stuff.  A 2 pound gain over a holiday weekend doesn't sound so bad.  Until I mention that I did not go to any Labor parties and eat.  Hmm.  I just pigged out at home by myself.  Interesting.  Nevertheless...that is behind me and I have lots of good things in front of me.  Alyson came up with the brilliant idea of video chatting with 2 of her dance besties in the hotel room Saturday night to catch up on any missed choreography from the day.  That way she can see and hear the steps.  Man, that child is bright!  She is sooo my kid.

My faboo friend Piper is recovering from her back surgery and finally got her staples out.  She definitely made me feel better about the rehearsal issue.  I love that woman!  So keeping her updated on Studio stuff has turned into keeping her updated on my studio drama.  Never saw that coming!  I'm the 'fly under the radar and kiss ass when I can' kind of dance mom.  Not that I see it as ass kissing...I just love to help out and be the happy go lucky helper mom.  ...don't hate me cause I rock. (and I totally do!)

I honestly haven't felt this good for this long in quite some time.  And I'm totally off my pills...which makes it even more amazing!  Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself!

back to photos and menu logging tomorrow.  That scale's gotta move down!

And then sh*t hit the fan!

So this week has been marvelous; diet, exercise, mood, planning...all falling into place.  Then *BAM* Friday hit.  Wowzers!  Alyson forgot her gym shorts so I was driving to the Jr high at 7am to hand them off when her bus pulled in.  My class at the gym had to be cancelled because the sound system that I was told "Oh don't worry, your ipod will plug right in" had no ipod port so I had no music.  I found out Saturday rehearsals for Alyson start a week earlier than I thought, and that's when we planned our first family trip in years to Cedar Point for the weekend.  Alyson's Modern class got moved up an hour so now I have to see if mom can pick her up on Thursday's as well.  Kelly is either crabby or pissed about the thought of having to cancel the weekend and seems a little cold to me today.  Holy crap what is that all about!!  Is karma punishing me for having a great week?!?  bleh...I'm not having it.  My stress level has been pleasantly low, and I intend to keep it that way.  It will all work out, and food is not answer!

Intake/Ouput for 9/1 (happy September!)
9:23-Hydroxyvut
10:15-Fruity Cheerios & Milk (230)
2:09 Hydroxycut
2:40-Lean Cuisine Garlic Chicken Spring Rolls :)  (200)
        Carrots & Celery with ranch (100)
        Slenderize blueberry & Raspberry Fuze (20)
Abs & Upper body (again in spurts during bathroom trips...lol)
8:40-Wendy's crispy chicken sandwich - PLAIN  (330)
TOTAL-880
H2O-5

Oh, the hormones in this house!!

So my poor Hailey has been in tears almost every morning before school.  She hates it...but won't get specific.  I think she's having a hard time dealing with the only girl her age (and best friend) on the street moving over the summer, her sister being at the Jr High now and the fact that she started her 'cycle' over the summer.  She has hormones that she doesn't know how to process.  It's made for a very stressful and emotional start of the school year.  So now there are all 3 women in the house with monthly visitors...Poor Kelly...lol.  I'm not letting any of this get to me and my diet.  Which is a major accomplishment for me!  I need to comfort Hailey and get her through this.  And junk food won't help me with that.  Believe it or not, that took me a long time to learn! 

Calorie intake/ouput for 8/31
8:20 Fruity Cheerios & Milk (240)
10:45 Zumba! 60m (-500)
1:03 Hydroxycut
1:45 Healthy Choice Lobster cheese Ravioli (ew. Never again. 270)
        Slenderize Fuze Pomegranate & Acai (yummy! 20)
8:00 Pork & Beans (lol) (490)
        Hot dogs (2-340)
        Slenderize Fuze Blueberry Raspberry (yum! 20)
10:30 Skinny Cow ice cream bar (Dance Mom's snack hehe 100)
Totals: 980
H2O-6

Rollin'!

Starting out as a lovely day!  and I do love lovely days!  I teach today, my last 10:45 am class.  Next week moves to 9:30 and 10:30.  My darling Alyson took the pie away from me last night before I could do too much damage (thanks B!)  So yesterday was a decent day.  Ate more calories than I wanted, but still stayed under 1700, which is my red light zone.  I want to stay under 1500, and when I subtract exercise calories, I'm right there!  And it's a picture day...not too shabby!  Down another pound!  I feel more focused and motivated than I have in a long time.  But this is the weight where I usually get stuck, then go right back up.  So this is an important week to stay positive and on track!

8/31/2011  204.5

Calorie intake/output

7:29 Fruity Cheerios & Milk (240)

1:18 Hydroxycut

2:12 Healthy Choice Cheddar bacon Chicken *favorite!  (240)

Upper body weights (-150) (done in sections in the bathroom at work...I fit it in when I can people!)

Chicken Breast (baked-2) (284)

Steamed Broccoli (39)

Rice (3/4c) 140

Apple Pie (thankfully I think Kelly is finishing it off for Breakfast!) (1/7 437)

chocolate milk (190)

Totals: 1440

H2O-6 (gotta get to 8!)

Back...and I mean Business!

So Much happening and going on!  And it's good stuff too!  I think Kel and I finally back on track...and you have no idea how much that relieves my psyche!  It's still a work in progress, but I'm no longer worried that my marriage may be over.  So that's a major positive!  The weight loss..well that's up next...lol...As always.  Zumba is great...my times are changing and ZumbAtomic is about to make it's debut at MCDA!  AND I'm getting my Zumba Toning cert. in Sept...Sweet!  Hopefully my gym, or even Medina Tone will add a toning class.  Still planning the vacations...a beachy honeymoon getaway for Kel and I, and a family fun vacay for all 4 of us.  I have a plan to get my finances organized and get things paid off...which will take a huge load off. (yes Mom, you are on the payoff plan!!)  My fantastic Mother has agreed to cart the girls to dance so I don't have to leave work early, and Hopefully Miss Kelly will put her to work sewing some costume stuff for Trinity and the recital so she can stay busy and not be so painfully bored in her retirement!! (kisses mom!) 

Seriously?!?   Things are great!

Yesterday's intake/output:
8:30 Hydorxycut
9:30 Smart One Breakfast pocket (240)
10:45 Zumba! (1 hour -500)
12:24 Banana (105)
6:00 Digiorno Pizza (1/4 524)
6:45 Paula Deen Apple Crumb pie (1/6 510) boo hiss...yummmm
Cals: 879
H2O - 6

End of my rope!! grrrrrr

So it seems that everyone around me is losing weight.  My co-workers, my friends, my family, even my ex.  So why can't I seem to get a handle on it?  It's very frustrating.  So I'm making my kids exercise with me at home.  I'm taking Hydroxycut again (I know, I hear you all moaning)  I'm considering Curves.  I'm kicking my willpower's ass.  I may start posting my daily eating here.  Pics of the ugly truth to remind me of my reasons.  I have to do this.  I'm unhappy in this aspect of my life, and that annoys me. 

Look out.  I'm pissed.  ...it's only at myself, but I'm pissed all the same.

Perspective pics

so I seem to be on a losing slide...which in my case is a good thing!  But alas, it's Fair week.  Which could spell disaster as I love Fair lemoade and Fair fries...mmmmmmm.

as promised, I took those pictures with the 2 different attitudes.  I like the results that came from it...

Frumpy                              7/31/11   204                            Fabulous!

So...lesson....it's all about how you present yourself.  I look a full 15 pounds thinner just by looking confident and happy.  I think that's a lesson we can all take to heart and put to good use!!

A lesson in perspective

Obiviously my head didn't explode, so there was a loss last week.  1.5 pounds.  I'll totally take that.  This week I'm hoping for the best, so please keep your fingers crossed for me.  My fabulously witty children have taken a shine to helping me out as well.  Every time they see me reaching for something I should not have...they simply utter the 2 most hated words of this dieting female..."Bathing Suit".  Believe it or not that's all it takes.  So when they baked cookies last week (omg the most delicious cookies ever, from scratch even!  Kel even said they were the best cookies he's ever had ((sorry Mr. Pete)) I came home to see a big computer printed note that said "BATHING SUIT".  So thoughtful.   However, I am ashamed to say...(and truely can't believe I'm admitting to it in print) to avoid being caught eating their cookies, I went to Walmart and bought my own.  SHAME-FUL!  I'm a closet eater apparently...lol.  Oy I have so much work to do...

On a lighter note, I tried something this weekend, and the results actually made me smile.  My perspective lesson.  I'm always looking at movie stars and actresses in photos.  I've always noticed that they always stand with their legs crossed for photo ops.  obviously a look thinner trick that works.  So, I decided to try it myself.  Instead of taking my photo with a 'woe is me I'm so fat' look, I turned on my charm, crossed my legs, put my hands on my hips and flashed the camera a million dollar grin.  And wouldn't you know it, the picture looked so much better!  I'll post my experiment pics this week. 

So, if that attitude in pictures can convey so much, just think about what conveying that attitude in real life would do?  I realized...I do convey that in my classes, which is why my students like me so much.  So I think I'll be perpetually cheerful, and see what reactions I get from people...

Wish me luck!

um...whoa?!

OK, yesterday was fabulous!  Kelly called on his way home from work in the morning asking me to meet him for breakfast.  He had to be back at work by 6, so I wouldn't get to see him before he left.  Yay for happy surprises!  We met at Denny's and I had an English muffin and some fruit.  Yes!  I was totally good!  That was a very proud moment!  I did my Zumba class with minimal pain from my epically sunburnt legs. (Seriously, they are bad.  Worse than my sun poisoning from too long in the tanning bed at 17 years old.)  Then worked out my dance tuition, and Alyson can take all the classes she wants for less than I thought I'd have to pay.  Bonus!  Granted, I'm still paying both arms and a leg, but my kids are happy.  And that's what I'm going for.

Today I woke up to even less pain from the cherry red appendages below my waist.  I can even take steps that are more than 12 inches long, and I can just about straighten my legs without wincing.  I added up my calories from yesterday, and was happy to find out that what I ate was way fewer calories than I thought. 

So why then, since being very good and weighing only 206 as of Sunday EVENING, does the scale at work now read 2 f'ing 12?  My good mood just plummeted, and I'm down right pissed off.  Let's see, how is this possible?  I started my period...could be bloated.  My dinner was super high in sodium...could be retaining water.  I stepped on the scale at a different time and after I ate breakfast.  I didn't undress...pretty sure my dress and shoes don't weigh 6 pounds.  Or maybe the scale is having a bad day.

All I know is...if it still says that tomorrow...my head might explode.  At least that'll knock off 6-8 pounds.

And here they are...

So here are the new pics...please look with caution....

7/14/2011 - 207

Well, that's not pretty at all, and frankly, it's a bit painful!  I hate looking so large!  I thought I did so well yesterday, until I wrote all the calories.  Then I realized I did not do as well as I though.  BUT....I will take this one small victory-while taking the kids to DQ (Kelly's idea) I did only get a small blizzard, and did not get the extra Reese's.  Granted, that's still a whopping 600 calories, but I did downsize!  It's all about baby steps at this point, and gradually weaning off the bad stuff.  so for me...getting a small instead of a large is a nice little compromise.

My next plan is to get my original measurements from Brooke, and re-measure myself.  It's been 3 months and even though my weight is not really fluctuating, I'd like to see if my measurements are changing.  Hopefully they will be smaller numbers, and it will be a little extra 'oomph' to my esteem and willpower.

Feelin' Gooooooood

So I took pics this morning with the intention of posting them.  however, the email didn't come through, so I will have to post them tomorrow.  They were yucky anyway...large looking...lol.  However, I do have a totally different pic to post.  I think I found a dress for the vow renewal we're planning.  check it out...

It's got lots of ruching at the waist and is flirty and fun...just like me!  You may not be able to see all the detail in the small pic, but it's totally cutesy...at least in like a size 8 it is.  Maybe not so much in a 16-18...lol.  But that will add to my inspiration and determination to lose 30 pounds by vacation.  That will give me a good 6-7 months.  That does not seem too incredibly daunting to me. 

Yesterday was good...last night...ehh...i survived and lost 1/2 pound for the week.  I'll totally take that!  But I'm certainly aiming for a much higher loss next week.  I'm shooting for at least a 2-3 pound loss.  That gets me back to a point where I don't feel like a total failure...lol.  I have all my goals posted in the front on my notebook that travels everywhere with me.  So there is a constant reminder of my journey...which I certainly  need!

Hello Monday!

Well it was a busted diet weekend, obviously.  But oh well, It's Monday, and the cookies are gone.  My hair is freshly blonde again, and I'm feeling fabulous.  Now to focus on the body.  I need to work in more weight training, and know exactly how to do it.  Tuesday and Thursday will be the Zumba Strength days.  I'm excited to work out the music and hopefully I can con Linda into coming down and joining me.  Tuesdays will be at home for sure, Thursdays I may do it at the gym.  I'm bummed that I haven't been able to get a pic up, although I've gained significantly since the last (ok so 4 pounds may not seem significant, but it is).  I'm not good at the self timer and aiming to do it myself, and the girls have been sleeping in the morning when I'm ready to take it.  This Wednesday for SURE...lol. 

So in the spirit of full disclosure I will tell you, the reason the cookies are gone is because I ate the last 6 this morning after Zumba.  lol...what a goober I am.  But moving on.  My coworker said her doctor congratulated her on significant weight loss and I am now major jealous.  I also am full on planning 2 vacays next year...What?!?!  you heard it!  Me and Kel are gonna take the girls somewhere, and then the 2 of us will go on a romantic getaway, (including Piero and his girl, which is totally cool with me) to a Caribbean resort somewhere.  We're going all inclusive, and he's all in for renewing our vows on the beach.  I even said I wanted us to write our own vows, and he was game.  WOW!!  That's big news!  The smile has been tatooed on my face since that moment. 

So I now have to get gorgeous and glam so he can flaunt me in all my glory on our vacations.  And so I can feel totally confident and beautiful and his side. 

GAME ON!!!!

Hi. My name is Stacey, and I'm a diet failure.

Now that that's out of the way, I can continue with my morning.  Lunch is being brought into work by a shipping rep...pizza.  And I'm totally looking forward to it!  I'm not going to beat myself up either.  I'm going to eat a piece, maybe 2, and then focus on what excercise I'll do later to work it off.  I like to eat, so I think it's in my best interest to think of burning it off, rather than not eating it.  I like to excercise too, so it seems like it should work out just fine to me.  We shall see.

I've gained 6 or 7 pounds.  Not going to beat myself up over that either.  Just get back to the routine and work it to suit me.  I had a major Pepsi relapse this weekend and last week.  So I'll get back to water and boost my confidence, since that's an easy goal to accomplish. 

I'm getting my Zumbatomic (kids Zumba) certification on August 20th and am on the schedule at MCDA to teach 2 classes on Thursday nights.  Boo-yah!  That will help my efforts immensely!  Kel and I went and bought baseball gloves and a softball and a new frisbee so that we can play outside instead of sitting on a couch.  He really enjoys cornhole, so I'm looking into a set as well.  Any thoughts on where to get one?

I'm forcing things to look up.  Because really, in the long run, is there really a point to being gloomy?  I think no.

So have a lovely day, and I'll be back tomorrow with more updates and what not!  Ciao Bellas!

Moving on!

It amazes me how one 24 hour period can be so up, then down, then up again.  I think the up's outweigh the downs for this period.  Let's compare, shall we?

UP'S
1. Emily is at my house, so my girls aren't alone and  beating eachother today!
2. I have regulars to my Zumba classes already!
3. I ordered a banner to promote said classes at the gym
4. I got GREAT news about new kids Zumba classes that I will be teaching!
5. I came up with an idea for a Zumba strength interval class that I want to pitch to the gym.
6. My Laryngitis is almost gone!

DOWN'S
1. My diet is floundering severly (however the scale has not punished me too bad yet...stressing YET)
2. Kelly pulled 'a kelly' last night
3. I feel very very fat...more so than usual
4. I have this awful cough that won't go away and is pissing me off.
5. I had to give up my personal training sessions.

There ya have it....6 to 5 in favor of Up's.  A win is a win in my book.  Hopefully tomorrow I will remember to take the weekly pic.  No matter how much I'm not wanting to!

blah...that about sums it up

So this week and the weekend especially have been very taxing on my mind and my spirit.  Which is irritating to say the least.  I've been too busy to remember to post a pic, and it's prolly for the best.  I've come to the realization that kel feels more like a roommate than a husband, and that's a hard pill to swallow.  I know he's trying, but my patience is wearing thin and I still don't really know where he stands.

I don't know who the other instructor is at the gym, but I have this fear that she's going to be the hot commodity and her classes will fill up while mine just flounder along.  I'm trying hard not to think about that, and won't talk about it to people, as I feel their eyes rolling when I complain about anything.

my diet has totally gone out the window the past five days, and my body can feel it.  I feel sluggish and old.  What will it take for me to finally commit whole heartedly to being fit and healthy?  Brooke keeps telling me that I have to do it for me, and no one else. (Which is another sad point...I had to give up my personal training sessions as I can no longer afford it.  My kids are my priority and their activities need to come first).  There has to be that one thing, that one image that keeps me going, and keeps me on the healthy path.  Why can't I find it?  How can something so important be so elusive?

I feel like I'm at a crossroads right now.  My relationships on all levels all seem to be in some kind of flux.  I want to walk away and just throw it all out the window and focus solely on my kids.  But what happens when they're grown?  If I walk away from them now, what will I have when my kids are grown and no longer need me to be such a big part of their everyday lives?

Ah, what a pity party I'm throwing for myself!  Hopefully getting it off my chest will alleviate some the of the negative feelings and I can move on.  I just hope none of you reading this will hold it against me!

phew...sleepy!

Well class #1 went well.  There were only 3 people there, but for a first time class at a new location with virtuallly NO advertising at all, I'd say that's acceptable.  1 lady found me on the Zumba site and just came to class, another heard from the chiropractor and the third was at the open house.  So now I'm taking the advertising into my own hands and getting a poster to put up on the outside door at the gym with all the available classes posted.  It always takes classes a while to get off the ground, so I'm still confident that over the next couple weeks, the numbers will grow.  All I know is...all 3 women said they would be buying passes and coming back!  That's what I'm aiming for!

Between teaching my class, taking my regular class and working in the warehouse yesterday, combined with the fact that I only ate one meal at work...    I ended up -200 calories by the time I got home.  Not good.  But Alyson kinda kept me in check, and I didn't get any bad snackies at the grocery store.  I didn't eat great, but I didn't go way over on calories either.  Here's a rundown:

10:45 Zumba 60 mins (-300) just a guess, haven't had the monitor on while Zumba'ing yet
1:00  Lean Cuisine Orange Chicken (300)
5:15 Zumba 45 mins (-200)
6:30  mini frosted cupcake (150)
7:45 Lean Cuisine Garlic Chicken Spring Rolls (400)
7:45 2 oatmeal Cookies (190)
8:30 1 slice DiGiorno pizza (300) (stole a piece from Alyson, bad)
9:15 1 3/4 c Fruity Pebbles & 10 oz 2% milk (380)

Intake: 1720 (apx)
Burn:    500  (apx)
           1220        
got all 8 glasses of water through the day.  So although I stayed under my calories, my choices were hit and miss.  Today's goal is to spread them out and remember to eat for cryin' out loud!  Tomorrow is weigh in and photo day...I'm not expecting much.  I am thinking of taking a more 'revealing' photo to show the whole ugly truth.  No worries...there will be no bathing suit shot...but I may try a sports bra photo with my pants.  Sometimes tough love IS the best medicine....

Wedding Weekend...survived

Derek and Kim's wedding was yesterday, and I think i came out of it pretty unscathed.  It was beautiful, Kim looked amazing and her dress was fabulous.  I did find myself crying, and realized...I'm a huge sap!  But even after attending other wedding's since mine and Kel's, I have not come across anything I would change about our wedding.  i may be biased, but I still think that our wedding was amazing and totally fun.  The ceremony yesterday had some great moments, but nothing that would have wanted me to do anything different on our day. 

The bulk of my calories yesterday came from...wait for it...      alcohol.  yep, I drank and had fun.  Granted I danced and burned calories, but I certainly didn't eat well.  But i did meet the goal I set for myself with Kelly's help.  I did not drink any soda throughout the weekend festivites.  Trust me, I wanted to do, but I did not.  I drank a lot of water as well.  And I think i looked great...aside from my makeup...my rosacea is flaring and I didn't have good foundation to cover the redness.  but I did get a fairly good pic of kel and I, which I will post as soon as I get it downloaded from the camera. 

I start teaching at the gym tomorrow, and I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.  I'm hoping that it will kickstart the weight loss efforts.  Really hoping!!

keeping myself honest

I didn't want to post this, but I will.  I imploded tonight.  All alone in the house and I started ok.  had a can of turkey chili for dinner.  Then had a piece of leftover pizza, a cupcake, a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and a bowl of Lucky Charms.  WTF??  The cereal was with skim milk, does that help?  And I only had 400 calories through the day (I'm assuming that's a contributing factor to my binging tonight) and an intense boxing workout with Josh this morning.  Still...the guilt of eating what I shouldn't have is not pleasant.

This stems from the fact that I did so well yesterday, and woke up to a 2 pound gain on the scale.  That pissed me off and started the 'why bother' thoughts in my head.  Very detrimental.  Once again I shall regroup and kick my ass into gear again.  Starting now, not in the morning, now.

It's a big step for me to even admit I ate all that.  Normally I would just pretend it never happened and then wonder why the scale is not moving in the right direction.  I guess that shows that this blog accountability thing is working so far.

...I promise...the humor will be back tomorrow...  :)

this is my alternative!

I've done fabulously well today!  Had a good dinner, good workout, and only snacked on some of Alyson's baked fries.  Now, before I go to far, i decided to log on the ole laptop while watching SYTYCD instead of munching like I'd really like to.  REALLY like to...lol.  This is like my mini panic button.  I'd love to be grabbing some ice cream, or a bowl of cereal.  But No.  I'm gonna blog, then go up and brush my teeth so the urge to eat disappears.  I logged all my calories today, and I totalled 1320, and burned about 200 minimum in the workout.  That's a good day!

any opinions on who's gonna win SYTYCD this year?  I'm in love with Melanie and Marko...have been since their respective auditions....

Today is a new day!

First off...yesterday was bad.  Really bad.  But that was yesterday.  Where I was having a pistachio muffin for breakfast yesterday, I am having an equally yummy (it's all about perception, people) Strawberry Chobani Greek yogurt.  Much better choice that I will certainly not regret later.  The scale did not completely punish me for my unabashedly food laden week and weekend...I stayed the same.  Which in retrospect, is pretty damn good. 

Kel has come home after work every day this week.  And since he's working 3rd shift, that's pretty impressive and I'm again cautiously optimistic. 

For all of you who have decided to follow me with email, I greatly appreciate it.  I do believe, that if you would like to comment, you have to click "follow me" and register with a google or yahoo address.  ...and I do love comments... :)

So here are this weeks photos.  They were taken by Hailey, so they are a bit crooked.  These were her best attempts...lol  I must say, the side view is not a very favorable shot of my ass.  Wow, it's huge.

 6/15/11  207

6/15/11  207

So I start fresh today with a renewed vigor, and hopefully I can keep it when I get home, and those cupcakes are staring me down from the counter.

Grr. Frustrated.

One would think that with all the good things going on, I'd have no problem finding will power.  One would think that the fact that I'm starting to teach Zumba classes next week would give me more than enough incentive.  One would also think that I could find the brain power to make it finally click.  Obviously, One would be wrong.  I just love sweet stuff!  Blizzards, cookies, donuts, cupcakes...all of it.  I have a hard time turning it down or walking past it.  I have to find that one thing, that one thought, that one method that finally makes the ambition stick.  I though when I got down to 196 that I'd be so excited that I wouldn't allow myself to go back up.  and now I sit at 207 again wondering what the hell happened?  I happened, that's what.  Seriously?  I should not need someone to hold my hand and tell me that I shouldn't eat bad things.  I should really be able to do it all alone.  So why am I not?  hmm...I think cause I just don't wanna.  Maybe I don't want it bad enough.  Maybe it's too much work for my sissy little self to handle. 

I say NO.  NO NO NO!  I am going to do this!  I'll finish the bad stuff today.  I'll be done.  I slipped and had a DQ fountain Pepsi this weekend...and it was sooooo goooood.  So now I move on, 'x' out the slip up days and rack my brain for a solution to my food issues.  Beacause, honestly...there just has to be one, right?

Here's last week's photos...a day before my dreaded photo and weigh in tomorrow...ugh

 6/8/11   207

6/8/11   207