Now this, this is just ridiculous

Ugh.  The scale is no longer my friend.  I thought maybe it wasn't going down because I was eating too few calories.  So I bumped them up closer to my daily reccomended amount to kind of 'jump start' my metabolism.  Well that didn't work out too well, as I gained a pound and a half.  Now frustration is setting in.  My doctor called with more lab results, and my estranged hubby gave me a gift...an incurable one.  Now I feel like I'm not fit for anyone to be with, and therefore start wondering why I should bother trying to lose weight and look good, if no one is going to want to be with me no matter how good I look.  But, I shall push those thoughts aside, and focus on the fact that I'm working on finishing those pages in my Wish Scrapbook.  #6 Run and Finish a 10K and #14 Lose 70 pounds.  Working on my wish book has given me comfort in the last couple tumultuous weeks of my life.  Weeks?  More like Months.  But either way, I shall persevere and prove to myself that I can do whatever my heart and soul truely wishes.

Tonight's Workout:  Zumba...thankfully.  I need a pick me up!  Back to the treadmill, as I think my blisters have sufficiently healed enough to get back to the training. (fingers crossed)

Tonight's Dinner:  Not sure, it's grocery night.  I'm kinda liking this Salmon and Asparagus combo I got going.  But there is the whole "too much of a good thing" so I'll limit this yumminess to 2 nights a week max.

Hello Weekend!

The scale told me this morning that I was back down to my stagnant weight that I've been at for 2 weeks.  Better than the gain, but I feel like I've worked hard enough this week for more of a loss.  Must not lose steam... 

Had Kielbasa and steamed corn last night.  Had more corn than I should have, but it was so yummy!  Ate a little bit earlier but not before my goal of 7:00.  The cereal was nixed, which gave me a sense of acheivement.  My blisters made it extremely hard to do my treadmill routine, but I persevered.  I couldn't wear my tennies, so I wore the most comfy shoes I could find.  The blisters were so painful that it threw my cadence outta whack, and  now I have 2 more blisters in different places.  These aren't nearly as bad.  Today is a rest day for the treadmill, so hopefully my blisters will recover enough to make tomorrow bearable. (fingers crossed!)

Tonight's Workout:  Step Tonic DVD.  Very excited to try this one.  I'm a step fan and used to teach at the local gym.  This one is touted to be more 'dancy', so it should be right up my alley.

Tonight's Dinner:  It's Friday night Peep dinner, and Annie is making Ham and some sides.  I don't want to load up on all that salt and inevitably high cal sides, so I'll take my own dinner.  Salmon fillet, asparagus and some new potatos sprinkled with parm cheese.  Hopefully no one will be offended that I bring my own food.

I'm sorry, that can't be right...

Stepping on the scale this morning showed that I gained a pound.  That's incredibly frustrating, as I have been doing very well this week!  I'm going to have to chalk it up to the cereal I've been eating at night.  I'm under on calories, and hungry so I eat a bowl of cereal.  It's usually late though, around 9:00.  And I don't get dinner in until close to 8:00.  I know all the rules, and eating late is a no-no.  So I'll have to adjust my schedule so eating occurs earlier in the evening.  I need to cut out the cereal stuff too.  I need some healthier snack options, so I can still have a snack later, but not the high calories and sugar that go with it.  This weight loss thing is all about adjustments to find the right fit, so let the adjustments begin!

I did get all 3 workouts in yesterday, although tap was not as 'cardio' as usual due to the blisters on my heels making some steps excruciating.  I have blister band-aids on the list of things to get today, and Alyson has assured me that she will NOT let me skip my treadmill routine.  It's posted on the fridge, and each time I complete the days routine, it gets a star sticker.  The girls know my plan,  and they will make sure it happens!  Yesterdays short video was a Kathy Smith upper body and abs...only 25 minutes as that's all the time I had, but it was good none the less.

Today's Workout:  short intervals start on the 30m treadmill routine, and Linda is coming for a video workout, but I'm not sure what we'll do yet...

Tonight's Dinner: Since I'll be home early anyway, I'll take out chicken to marinate, and have some steamed Cali veggies.  I'll have a goal to be done with dinner by 7:00, and maybe snack on some plain popcorn.

Feeling energized!

Wow...The slim sculpt DVD was intense...but I loved it!  And I managed to get in my 30 minutes on the treadmill to boot!  I stuck to my Healthy Choice dinner, but had a bowl Mini Wheats when I got home since i was starving.  I was still way way under on my calories for the day, so munched on some cheese. 

I made a printout of my training schedule for totally beginner runners, and actually got out of bed early enough to get my scheduled 30 minute walk this morning.  Tomorrow starts slowly integrating running in short spurts.  The blisters on my achilles are telling me that a new pair of shoes may soon be in my future!  **bonus - Kelly said he may start training with me to run the 10K in July!  This is very good news!

Today I'm making a list as I listen to my Ipod of songs that are the right tempo for my treadmill walks.  I'll print it out and make playlists when I get home so I have a steady workout rhythm...totally a must for me.

Today's Workout: 30 min on treadmill, 55 minute tap class (yay!) and a 40 minute workout with Lindy Lou before I take my oldest to the dance studio.

Tonight's Dinner: Healthy Choice Beef Tips Dinner.  Boring yes, but totally easy, and Wednesdays are very Chaotic at our house!

Fighting the emotional fight!

blech.  That about sums it up.  I did ok last night.  I had salmon and asparagus instead of the chicken, but also had what was left of the apple pizza thingy from the weekend.  I should have just thrown it away, but noooo...I had to eat it.  grr.  The plan was to get up and hit the tread this morning at 6:15.  Soooo didn't happen.  I'm not much of a morning go getter to begin with.  I was hoping that having a goal would force me out of bed.  Not so much.  So now I'm hoping to get the 30 minutes in this evening, as well as a workout with Lindy Lou.  The emotional roller coaster I'm on with Kelly isn't helping matters at all.  I just want to sit and do nothing and sulk.  That will get me nowhere but fatter fast.  I've been working on my 'bucket book' scrapbook, and have gotten up to #15 finished.  Maybe I'll post some of those pages on here for the heck of it.

Tonights Workout: 30 minutes on the treadmill and Slim Sculpt DVD
Tonights Dinner: Healthy Choice Chicken tenders dinner (excitement...ugh)

Weekend: Survived

I ate this weekend...and enjoyed it.  I stayed away from soda, and stuck to only water, which is a total win in my book!  The scale rewarded me by not changing at all.  After Steak on a Stone, Friday's, and Pizza with breadsticks...I'll take the steady reading on the scale versus a gain.

I brought my 'Shake Weight' to work to leave in the bathroom.  This is in hopes that every bathroom break will be accompanied by 2 minutes of shaking the weight.  Every little bit helps, and with all the water I'm drinking, the bathroom trips are frequent.

I've also decided to start training to run the 10K at the Twin Sizzler this July 4th, or the 5K at the very least.  I have the treadmill at home, so I may as well use it.  I'm hoping that if I have a goal, and a plan (which I printed out already) the thought of the treadmill won't be so daunting.  I need to figure out how to get a TV to the basement so I can watch while I walk/run.  Until then, the Ipod will have to do.

Today's Workout: Zumba!
Today's Dinner: Grilled Chicken with Steamed Cali blend veggies

Day 2's always easy...

Rocked the Zumba last night, but between the girls homework and grocery shopping I didn't fit the Ab DVD in.  I was way under my calorie budget and the scale showed it with a 2lb loss.  I'm assuming that will creep on rather quickly once I eat my normal calorie range.  The sadness and pain of my marriage woes is making me want to do nothing but eat and sleep, and the urge is incredibly strong.  But my kids are my saving grace, because they won't allow that to happen...they depend on me to get them to their scheduled 'happenings'...lol.  I have mixed feelings about the peep dinner Friday.  One, because I don't wanna trash my eating and two because I know I won't be good company and I'll just be missing Kelly even more.  I really need to get my 'Memento Vivere' tatoo so I can 'remember that I have to live' because it's not easy right now.

Today's Workout: Kettlebell Drills DVD  (also a first time for this one.  My tuesday schedule is crazy hectic and Kel said the last time I talked to him on Saturday, that he'd be over to talk tonight.  but since I haven't heard from him since, I'm really not sure.  So we'll see if I can fit this in)

Today's Dinner: I'm hoping for baked Salmon and asparagus, but again, the Kelly thing may intervene.

Hold that Wagon, Please!

Yes I know, it's been said a thousand times over, but I'm trying to lose the weight again.  I'm actually down 11 pounds from my peak weight (which I shall not divulge until I'm quite a bit below it).  My gut tells me I may be single in the future, so I better get on the ball and make myself desirable.  As if my charming and witty personality isn't enough to lure a keeper.  I have this odd tendancy to marry men who decide down the road that they just don't know if they want to be married any more.  He says he still loves me, a lot actually, but blah blah blah.  This isn't about that.  It's about my journey to weight loss and self discovery.  I've got friends who I know I can count on, but they can't lose it for me.  It's a Monday, so we'll start fresh today.  I have an nifty app on my ipod to help me along the way, and the rest of the tools are in my brain and on my body.  sooo...

Today's workout: Zumba!  which I love and only wish Sara taught more classes during the week.
                            : Ten minute ab workout on a new DVD.  Haven't done this one yet, so we'll see.

Today's dinner:  uh...not sure, haven't been to the store yet this week.
    *only posting dinners since it's the only time of day that I get out of control. eek!

Here's to ME!