Phooey

It's that dreaded week of the month when my emotional guard gets a little weak, and my willpower tends to falter.  This months vice for the week... Potato chips and dip.  Wha...???   I never eat that, never even crave that.  And even after Hailey (sweet child) warned me not to do it, I still put them in the cart at the grocery store.  I should really start listening to her.  My normal loss turned into a 'stayed the same' and I know exactly why.  I shall banish them from the house tonight (the remaining chips and dip, not the kids) and pull myself back together.  I got a taste of being under 200, as fleeting as it was, and I want it back.  I know what to do, I just have to suck it up and actually do it.

I did do a boot camp DVD with Linda last night, and the calories weren't that bad.  So the day was still decent...just not a losing day.

Tonight's Dinner:  Healthy Choice Roasted Chicken and Herb Potato frozen dinner.  Sounded really good up until that last part, didn't it?

Tonight's Workout:  I have time tonight, so we'll do the entire Kendall DVD.  My upper body is still sore from the pushups and shoulder work Brooke had me do, but I think it's much more managable today.

choices and consequences

Yep, I made bad choices this weekend and I am paying for it on the scale.  McDonalds one day and Taco Bell the next.  But, I made the choice and I will have to deal with it now.  Had a session with Brooke today and worked it.  And I have Zumba tonight...so hopefully the fast food weight will be gone.  I'm emotionally stressing as usual, and am trying to cope without food.  Which is not easy for me as food has always been a security blanket.  I just wish a certain someone would figure things out and get back here.  Unfortunately that is not in my control.  My eating and exercise are, so I need to take the reigns and make good things happen.  I don't like having this emotional baggage coming from all angles.  Comfort points have now become stressful, and my outlets are becoming smaller in number.  Alas food is not the answer...no matter what the question might be.  As long as I can keep hold of that thought, things will be ok.

Tonight's Workout:  PT w/ Brooke today and Zumba tonight.  Finally.

Tonight's Dinner:  I've no clue.  Groceries need to bought, so I'll get something healthy...promise.

Ahhhh.....New Numbers!!!!!

Do you see that???  Do you SEE that up there?!?!  I'm in new numbers!  I'm under 200 for the first time in 4 years!  I'm so happy I could almost cry!  Now if that's not motivation to keep going, I don't know what is.  And to boot, I think I'm having lunch with Kel today!  No problem, because I have a favorite dish at Applebees that's on their under 550 menu.  I get it every time we go and drink lots of water.  It's still more than I usually do for lunch, but I adjust through the day and the calorie count stays where it should.  I got a compliment from a male co-worker today and that was just the icing on the cake!

Tonight's Dinner:  hmmm...hoping that Kel comes over like he said.  If so, I'm not sure what will be on the menu.  Perhaps chicken with steamed veggies.  All I know is that I won't go off course just because he's here.  He said he was proud of me, so I know he won't try to sabotage me.

Tonight's Workout:  again...hmmm...usually Linda and I work out, but if Kelly is over, I'll want to spend time with him.  However, him being here opens up a whole new realm of excercise opportunities!

Hiatus over!

With all my emotions being a total train wreck over the last month, I've forgotten about my lil' bloggy blog here.  Well I'm back now, and hopefully this will help keep my emotions in check. (fingers crossed).  Things with Kel are still crazy, and I see no end in sight...so I just keep on keepin' on.  Vegas was great however!  We actually acted and felt like a normal married couple.  But you know what they say...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and sadly that seems to be holding true.

On the weight front however, things are looking up!  As my little ticker up there says I've hit the 20 pound mark...hooray!  I don't feel any smaller though, which tells me that I was very heavy at my heaviest.  I must have also been pushing the seams on my clothes to their limits, because I can't yet get into a smaller size.  So my clothes are thankful that they are not under so much pressure.  My first goal has always been to get under 200 again...I've revised that to get back to my wedding weight.  That would be 197 and is only a difference of 2 pounds in the goal, so no big.  I'm so close I can just feel it...I'm hoping to be there in 2 weeks max.

I've been doing very well eating...with the exception of the evil incarnate that are known as Girl Scout Cookies.  They are gone however, and things are back to normal.  I've set a goal of eating earlier at night...I think eating at 8 or 9 o'clock is not helping my cause at all.  So I'm revising my schedule to allow me to eat earlier, and then I brush my teeth before I sit down to watch my shows so I'm not tempted to snack.  THAT is working marvelously...I haven't even eaten popcorn with Alyson, which she seems to make EVERY night.

My trainer, Brooke, is fantastic!  I adore her, and she knows how to push me just the right way.  It's expensive as hell, but I'll cut back other places to keep her.  It's well worth it.

Tonight's Workout:  I did 30 minutes of Zumba practice at the gym (yes I'm still planning on getting certified and the gym I go to is hoping to add Zumba and I'm at the top of their list!)  I'll do some strength DVD with Linda and then I have my tap class tonight as well.

Tonight's Dinner:  Since Wednesdays are so crazy, there's a Healthy choice Dinner waiting for me tonight, with a V8 Fusion to wash it down.

**on a side note, I've found out that there are lots of you that read my blog that aren't technically 'followers'.  I did not know this and think it's cool that you guys keep tabs on me!  Thanks!  Remember....becoming a follower means you can comment, and I love love love comments!  Not to mention it's totally easy!