November??

I'm reflecting...   and after said reflection I'm left with...

Holy Shit It's November?!?!

     Hmm...I was supposed to be half way to my goal by now.  Well that's disappointing.  No need to dwell on that though.  Might as well move on and deal with the present.  Which reminds me that I got the little gift to myself...my 15 minute workout book. Which is fantastic!  It has a ton of great workouts...and very few of them require equipment that I don't have.  I don't know if that means not a lot is required, or that I just have a lot of dusty workout equipment at home.  I'm going with the latter. 

     Since today is the last day of the month, I'm going to set aside some time to make a plan.  I'm going to set up a workout calendar for the next two weeks.  I was going to go with the next month...but I need to take smaller steps people.  My friend Lisa has decided that me dropping tap class is not acceptable, and has paid for my next session for me; a gesture that brought me to tears.  So I think I'll make Weds lower body.  Thursday is definitely cardio.  So that would make Monday upper.  Tuesday I'll throw in some treadmill work and an ab routine.  Sunday is my off day...so I need to figure Friday and Saturday.  Then the hard part...actually finding the time the add it to the schedule.  They're short workouts...so I actually get up when the alarm goes off, and not 'snooze', I should be ok.  But I reeaalllly like sleep.  I can make this work.

    Food...ahhh my old friend.  I shall not give you a makeover just yet.  I'll work on the workouts first, then tweak the food.  Like I said...baby steps.

     In other news...The engine is being delivered and Kel should have his car back this weekend.  Alyson's first Trinity performance of the season went relatively well.  Only 2 girls were in tears, Julia was clothed and had makeup for Zombies and Madison didn't hit the floor.  That's a success to me.  I love my dance family, and the dance mom's (and dad's!) are truely amazing people.  I can honestly say, I just adore the girls on the team.  They make me laugh and I would treat them as my own any day of the week...and I do.  The countdown is on to Black Friday, and that list is also starting.  I told Kel I was going out early...he laughed and said "no you're not, unless early is 9:00".  Apparently he's caught on to my fondness of sleep.

Here's to Novemeber!  Cheers!

Road Block!

Oy!  I have all these ideas, plans and such...and no idea how to utilize them...lol.  What I need to do is work exercise back into my life.  Since losing my classes...I've all but quit physical activity all together....owie.  So, I need to figure out how to work it back in.

1. Get a home schedule going
   Pros: I can work around my schedule.
            There can be as much variety as I want.
           No one to gawk at me.

   Cons: With no accountability, workouts are easy to blow off.
             I usually slack off with no one to keep me in check.

2. Use the gym membership I currently have.
   Pros: It's paid for
            It's available on my lunch break.
            I can seclude myself in the aerobic room

   Cons: They make me uncomfortable there.
             I won't use the weights alone.         
            
3. Hire a trainer
    Pros: They keep me motivated
             Workouts are constantly varied
             They are professional and know their stuff

   Cons:  Um  hello...Expensive.

4. Find a Workout buddy and get creative.
    Pros: Motivation to do the workout and not slack
             Confidence booster and confidant.
             Variety abounds

    Cons: Finding a buddy
              finding a buddy that works with my schedule

I guess for the time being I'll just try to force myself to work the workouts in.  I'll get my own workouts and head to the gym for Zumba practice for cardio...and add my own strength routine in the big room.  Being there, at least, makes me feel like working out.  If I can get this whole Finding Fitness thing going, that would be fun.  I'm trying to gather people right now for the Line Dancing class at Thirsty Cowboy.  I have some that said they would...but not enough for my liking.  Maybe I'll just have to grab Jill & Chris and the three of us will hit it. Oh April, Piper, Jen, Mary, Linda, Amy...?   I know you're reading this....Will you join us.....??

stand back...I'm about to blow

Please pardon my rant for the following few lines...

Sooo....The gym cancelled my Tuesday class.  Now this does not surprise me.  What does surprise me the immature, unprofessional low blow that Miss Heather Suratt took when she told me about the cancellation.  And I quote..."That's fine. I will take it off the schedule for Tuesdays.  I haven't been real happy with how u have interacted with the staff lately anyway."

Wait just a damn minute.  Let's go back here...way back to the beginning.  There was one...ONE ad that was placed advertising new Zumba at the gym.  I had to buy the big f'ing banner and then Nicole had to LIE to get me reimbursed for it.  No other advertising was ever done.  All facebook posts were put up by ME.  I got email addresses for all my clients and updated them.  The gym did NOTHING to help with that.  My clients often complained to me how rude the staff was and that they were treated like they were stupid.  Then when my numbers were down (shocking...that's what happens with lack of advertising) they moved me to a different room.  A smaller room, with no doors, walls that didn't go to the ceiling, and right across from the Doc's office.  I tried to tell them it was a bad idea...but who the hell am I to know. 

I lost clients because the doors were open and they didn't want to shake it Zumba style for everyone to gawk at...which they DID.  My first class...I was told...oh yeah there's an adapter for your ipod, no problem.  WRONG...I had to cancel the class because their 'adapter' didn't work.  I bought my own sound system...only to find that I was fighting with gym noise because the room was f'ing open!  So I bought curtains to put up over the doorways so my clients could feel less self conscious.  By this time...3 had already dropped out and left because of staff, room, sound or what not.  AND THEN...they have the cubbies in this room...so all during class, people are walking in and out to get their keys, drop off stuff...irritating to say the least. 

Then Heather came in when I was leaving a class that no one showed up for and told me...We're getting rid of all the morning classes...then had ME contact people with the emails I was SMART enough to get.  To let them know that the classes were cancelled immediately.  No warning, no class till the end of the month.  She made me do the dirty work.  Last time I checked...I was not part of your precious staff.

It then got to the point that the trainers were leaving their shit all over the place.  Is it that hard to clean up after yourself?  I would come in, and there would be mats, bosu's, medicine balls, steps...just laying around.  So now I have to clean up the room that your 'staff' left a mess, so I can teach my class?  Then they made me turn the music down ...because it was too loud in the doc's office.  Hmm...didn't I f'ing warn you about that??  YES, yes I did.  And you just come into the middle of the class and tell me to turn it down?  Do you not get that the Music is an integral part of a Zumba class?  my words to her were "I'll think about it".  So yes, you're right...I guess I treated your staff, rudely.  Bitch.

Whoo...well I feel better.  On a lighter note...I ordered a book!  A book of 15 minute workouts from Women's Health.  I'll do them, share them, and then rate them.  I can find 15 minutes a day, surely!

This fresh start feels stale already... :)

Oh joy!  Another Monday and another renewed vow of success!  hmmph...how many times can you make that vow before you become a walking hypocrite?  Nevertheless...Here we go!

Just some tidbits from the weekend...

~I certainly AM my own biggest obstacle...time to tear this bitch down!  (thank you Jen!  xo)
~There are people that garner a certain type of inspiration or commraderie from my posts. (thank you April! xo)
~Zombies look like zombies for a reason...they are dead and have been decaying for years.  (Dance moms...I know you'll understand)
~Enjoy being the 'cool' mom/aunt/sister/cousin while you can...cause sometimes it just doesn't last.
~Money really needs to start growing on trees...right next to the dance shoe bush.
~Candy Corn is evil.
~Spouses are wonderful, but they are not perfect.  Embrace their imperfections, and work around them.
~Workouts may be hard, inconvenient and tough to fit in...but that's why they're call workouts. 

Exercise will be tough to squeeze in this week as it's watch week at MCDA.  I love to go watch...just as much as I love to see my fellow dance mom's that I've grown to adore and form a sisterly bond with over the past 9 years.  I need to get these moms on board the Big Pixie Fitness train.  I think line dancing at the new Thirsty Cowboy would be a fantastic night out / workout blast! 

I even made myself a logo with the help of my amazing co-worker Shane!  What do you think?

yes. I suck.

let me start off with....bllluuahhahhhh.  Yeah, it's that kind of week.  I stopped watching what goes into my mouth, and I've only exercised, oh wait...I haven't exercised at all this week.  My body is not happy about it, yet not to the point that I'm ready to jump back on the wagon just yet.  Kelly's car needs $4000 worth of work, so I'm cutting out any non essential spending.  So my tap class will go by the wayside, the thought of joining Curves has been shelved, as well as going back to Sarah's Zumba class.  If I'm gonna make this work I'm gonna have to do it on my own.  which I totally suck at.  Time to go through the DVD collection at home and see how I can force myself to workout alone.  Early morning is really my only option.  But Since Alyson is up at 6 and getting ready, I would need to invest in a new DVD player for the down room...so I don't interfere with her getting ready in the up room.  Again...spending of money that is not currently available.  But I have to do something.  The me that I currently am...I'm not so proud of. 

My will(s)

I WILL remember my victory over McDonalds today.
I WILL remember why I'm doing this to begin with.
I WILL do this for me and no one else.
I WILL treat food like fuel, not fun (well ok, most of the time)
I WILL go all out in workouts and not half ass them.
I WILL do a pole dancing class.  (yeah...I'm sexy)
I WILL get right back up when I stumble.  (even if I temporarily lose consciousness from a food coma)
I WILL not let other people dictate my decisions.
I WILL not have a McFlurry tonight.  (boo.)
I WILL honestly try to nix the late night snacking.
I WILL listen to Alyson when she says "No mom" (God bless that child and her iron food fist.)
I WILL start lifting weights at home again.
I WILL work my abs again (do a few crunches at tap class and I'm quickly reminded of how much I'm slacking)
I WILL be TRUTHFUL when I track my calories (uhh yeeaaaahhh...)
I WILL be more diligent in posting progress pics (let's face it...if there's no progress, why bother?)
I WILL LOSE THIS DAMN WEIGHT.  period.  no excuses.  no alternative.

I have...an....ide-a...

I woke up this morning with an idea just racing through my head.  So I better get it down before I forget it.  I come up with hairbrained ideas every once in a while.  Most of the time they fizzle out before I think about them twice.  This one seems like it might be cool though.  Bear with me here...as I still have a hard time making it sound right in my head...

I have this thought of a fitness 'club' or group type idea.  A group of people that meet once or twice a month to try something new and different.  There would be a fee...maybe 5 bucks a person.  Then we'd use that money to rent a room (fitness appropriate flooring and such) and pay for an instructor to come in and lead us in a class.  For example, Bellydance, linedance, Kettlebell, Yoga, Pilates...then go from there and see what kind of crazy class format we can come up with next.  Maybe even alternate classes with speakers on nutrition, life coaching, fitting in fitness for busy moms or meditation.  Is any of this making sense?  If we find a format we really like, we can always do repeats.  The more I talk about it, the more excited I get about it.  It'd be a support group of sorts...lol.  Even for those of us who don't need to lose weight, it would be a good excuse to get out of the house and be with friends....and try something NEW!

So what do you think?  respond here...or email me, or message me on facebook.  I would REALLY like input on this, or let me know if you'd be interested in joining me.  We'd have to think of a super cool name for ourselves too...

oh boy.

Well I went and did it...I told the world of Facebook about my weight loss and my blog.  Am I freakin nuts??  Well yes, that's a given.  But hell, nothing else has worked, so why not let everyone see me.  That way failure would be that much more mortifying.  hehe.  Good thing there's no camera at my desk to see the Taco Bell, Fritos, Pepsi and cupcake sitting here.  Hey, I'll totally start tomorrow....totally... 

At least I have my Zumba class to teach tonight...that'll work some snackage off.  But (butt) seriously...I'm ready to try some new stuff.  I may wander around Medina and see what kind of new and interesting exercise classes I can find.  There's gotta be something new around here, right?  Pole dancing classes, lap dance aerobics and strip tease are coming soon to Wadsworth...and you KNOW I have to check those out!  There's some new classes at my local gym too.  I've been putting off going cause I'm not the 'gym rat' type that takes them.  But hell...maybe I can inject a little lunacy into their well regimented structure! 

Now that'll be something to write about....  : p

Pattern...

After waking up to a 1.5 gain, I can finally see the benefits tracking so diligently.  I have finally found a pattern.  It's an obvious one, yes.  But seeing that my hypothesis is proven correct, maybe it will help me to make adjustments.  I notice that I have a gain in the morning if I eat after 8:00.  Yes, of course anything you read will tell you this.  But seeeing the results in real life makes it a bit more believeable.  It doesn't even matter if it's not a big calorie intake...my body just doesn't process as well after 8pm.  So now let's see if I can put that knowledge to pratical use.  I did not go to my tap class last night, as I wanted to spend time with Kelly.  I cancelled plans to be with him.  Would he do the same for me?  ...well he's proven that he won't, but we know how to open communication lines now, so maybe we can address that??

10/5:
9:40 - Hydroxycut
11:30 - Lean Pocket b'fast sandwich (260)
3:55 - Hydroxycut
4:25 - HC chedd bacon chicken (240)
7:00 - Hamburger Helper Crunchy Taco (450)
9:00 - Fritos (200)

TOTAL: 1150
H2O - 6

Yay! A good loss!

So according to the scale, my new friend, I lost 5 pounds since last Weds. weigh in.  So Happy!!  That puts me back down to where I feel like I should technically be starting...lol.  It's not back to my lowest, but if I stay on track, I'll be back down there in no time, and well on my way to goal number 1 of 197, which is the weight I was when we got married.  That's a loss of 24 since my highest weight.  I can see it, so now I need to focus and stay the course.

10/3:
9:10 - Hydroxycut
9:55 - Lean Pocket b'fast sandwich (260)
2:40 - Hydroxycut
3:10 - Healthy Choice Chedd Bacon Chick (240)
4:40 - Snackwell shortbread cookie pack (100)
5:30 - Zumba! (45m -400)
7:10 - Turkey Cheddar Sausage 2 (240)
8:05 - Fruity Cheerios & skim Milk (300)  (I ate this cause I was hungry and realized I was low on calories)

TOTAL: 740
H2O-7

Up down up down

I'm a yo yo today...an emotional yo yo.  I've been up down and run every emotional gamut possible.  Right now...I'm sitting at 'stable'.  I have new teaching prospects on the horizon, which is always good.  And found a fitness class centered gym opening by my work...they have Pole Classes!!  I am super psyched about this!  I ate like crap yesterday, and didn't get a workout in, but maybe not as bad as I think, as I still lost a pound.  Tomorrow is the official weigh in day, so we'll see what happens.

10/3:
8:54 - Hydroxycut
9:24 - Lean Pocket B'fast Sandwich (260)
2:36 - Hydroxycut
3:15 - Homestyle Chicken noodle soup (140)
          5 Saltine crackers (70)
4:04 - Snackwell shortbread cookies (100)
7:00 - Banana Bread (400)
8:45 - Fruity Cheerios & Milk (400)
8:30 - Coke (120)  damn...off the wagon

TOTALS: 1510
H2O-5

Not too bad

The weekend was survived...and I came out of weighing the same as I went into it.  So ther in and of itself is a victory.  I had grand plans to hit Sarah's Zumba class tonight, only to find that there is no class this week.  So now I'm left to find a workout on my own.  Unfortunately, I know how that generally goes.  But maybe tonight will be different, maybe I'll find the will to pop in a DVD and bust out a workout.  But honestly, if I can get through with my eating on track...I'll chalk it up in the win column