This may be tricky...

The weekend was a bust.  Seriously...there was no dieting.  Well wait, unless you count the fact that I only had a Caesar salad for dinner on Friday because I didn't want to spend 20.00 on a meal at the hotel restaraunt.  That was totally negated by the fact that I had McD's for lunch and a Swiss Cake Roll for dessert.  That and whatever else I ate that I have blocked from my memory.  It was all a food laden musical blur.  *side note...the convention was fantastic!  I had a super time watching the dancers teach, and watching my daughter (and shared daughters) learn from some of their favorite dance stars.  It was a great experience that I plan on making happen every year.**

Then comes yesterday.  My day was great.  I got an elliptical workout in, ate perfectly all day.  Then I left work.  I heard a noise from something rolling around in the back seat.  I quickly realize that it's a Pringles can left from the weekend.  I told myself that I needed to grab it so all the chips wouldn't break and turn into garbage.  Let's face it.  That's not the reason I grabbed that can.  That's just how I justified it.  I proceeded to eat about 15 chips before I could blink 5 times.  When I finally gained consciousness again, I put the lid back on and threw the chips in the floor of the front seat.  I have no idea why, but I remembered that there was a sleeve of town house crackers (only 4 or 5 crackers left) in the door handle of the rear drivers side door.  I'm not sure what happened, but I reached back a red light, grabbed the sleeve and proceeded to eat the crackers before the light turned green.  W.T.F.  Oh but that wasn't all.  I decided that I really only ate 300 calories through the day, and had to have my granola bar that was sitting next to me.  Keep in mind, my drive home is only 30 minutes....  I am currently disgusted with myself and my behavior.

I got home and regrouped.  Cleaned up the kitchen and living room for the 40 minutes I'm home before I have to leave to take Alyson to dance.  Not a morsel went into my mouth.  Of course not, you see, because I had other people present and didn't want to be reprimanded by them.  Off to the studio, drop off Alyson and head to the grocery store with Hailey.  All goes as planned.  I get the kids their muffins and got nothing for me.  Again, because Hailey was there and wouldn't let that happen, so I didn't even bother trying.  Back to the studio to wait for Alyson, and get caught up on any loose Dance Company end that needed tied.  Back home around 8:35 or so, and unload groceries to come in and find that Kelly has ordered Dominics.  Fried Chicken, JoJo's, cold slaw, rolls, waffle fries and cheese to dip.  Fuck.  There goes any hope of salvaging the day.  I eat like it's my first and last meal (well, between getting up 3-5 times to help with homework, braid hair before bed, give goodnights and what not.)  Then I realize I have leftover Lemonberry in the freezer.  What the hell, might as well get rid of it while I'm on a roll.

What a shameful display of gluttony.  I have high hopes that perhaps today I can do something to make myself proud to be me.  Cause right now, phew, I'm feeling pretty embarassed...

.....but I did clean the food out of the car.... 

November 1st, Ack!!

Well this certainly came up quick!  Damn.  I'm currently coming down off my food coma state that I put myself in knowing that this day was rapidly approaching.  FYI...I don't reccommend it.  But there is no sense of guilt today.  I enjoyed my indulgence, and now it's time to work.  Oddly enought, I already find myself making excuses to not workout.  Todays excuse...I wrote off the gym because I knew I had tap class later.  Then tap class was cancelled.  Did I change my mind and head to the gym?  Nope.  I was already out of that mindset and there was no going back.  So now I'm justifying it by telling myself I'm easing into it.  Yeah right.  I'll detox the diet now, and add the exercise back in next week.  Bahahaha...whatever I gotta tell myself I suppose.  That 30 pounds ain't gonna 'excuse' itself off my frame.  I did find a cute 10 minute stair workout that I can do during TV time tonight.  It's not thinky at all.  Simple and brainless...perfect for doing while I'm scolding whatever judge/contestant happens to be on the tube at that moment.

Food choices today?  Totally on target!  WW breakfast sandwich, campbells chicken egg noodle soup, and a granola bar.  Maybe a 50cal can of peaches to hold me till dinner before I go home.  Ah home.  That's where the real challenge comes in.  I know what's there.  A bowl of mini m&m's and chocolate chips left over from Hailey's halloween party yesterday.  A container of Pumpkin donut holes that Kel needed from the store.  Extra packages of blueberry mini muffins.  Small bite size things that I shove aimlessly into my mouth without even realizing I'm doing it.  THAT's where the trouble happens.  Focus and kitchen diversion will be key.

And then there's this weekend.  Aye.  A weekend away at a dance convention where all of my time will be spent patiently waiting for Alyson, Madison and Lauren to be finished with classes.  That's 8 hours of nothing, followed by dinner and lunch at hotel restaraunts.  Well, that should be a piece a' cake.

One thing I know, is that I will be taking my trusty purple binder with me this weekend.  Along with several blank calendar pages.  I'll spend some time making a workout schedule, and making playlists to go with those workouts.  That way, when I do get back home and am ready to add the workouts back in on Monday, I won't have to think about what to do.  It'll all be mapped out for me.  If there's one thing I've learned about this weight loss and exercise thing...

The less thinky I have to be about it, the better.

slacker...thy name is Stacey

Holy crap...has it really been 2 months?  Ouch...I had no idea.  Well, shit.  I don't even know what to say for myself.

According to my little ticker up there (which I just updated, thank you) I didn't totally backslide during my hiatus.  On the contrary, I actually lost a pound.  That's seems deceiving though.  Because I was all the way down to 211, and rapidly put those back on this week.  Fortunately, all is not lost!

As I gaze at the calendar I see a fun little fact.  My fantastic desk calendar at work has a little 'counter' on it, that lets me know how many days of the year have passed, and how many are left.  (is this a regular feature on calendars?  If yes, how have I never noticed this before?)  (side note, can anyone tell me what (EID) means for nationality on the calendar?  I obviously know (C) and (M) but that (EID) one has had me stumped for ages)  Anyhoo,  come November 1st, there are 60 days left (technically 61 since Dec has 31 but for my purposes I'll fudge it) in 2012. 

I always see all this diet and Exercise things throwing the time frame of 90 days.  90 days to a better body if you follow this workout, 90 days to a trimmer waistline if if you follow this diet...blah, blah, blah.  So if I use 11/1/12 as a starting point, my 90 days will hit nice and round (+/-1 day) on January 31st.  This epiphany struck me and little sparklies danced around my eyes (it had nothing to do with how hard I was thinking to figure out (EID), so shut up) and skinny versions of me jumping over flaming hurdles as I'm running the Warrior Dash in cute size 8 workout clothes played in my head  (ok maybe too much (EID) thinking took a toll).  Nevertheless, I felt...a...plan...forming somwhere in my calendar challeged brain.

I SHALL DO MY OWN 90 DAY TRANSFORMATION!!
(that has a much better effect if you say with the deep, booming, echo-y announcer / superhero man voice.  I'll pause while you try it....  you sound amazing.)

The details?  I'm still working that out.  But It has to be fun, and interesting, and fun.  Or I won't stick to it at all.  The goal?  I want to hit a 30 pound loss by Jan 31st.  That would be 30 pounds in 90 days.  Tricky? yes.  Difficult?  Incredibly.  Impossible?  NEVAHHHH!!

So stay tuned my little peeps...this could get fun.

busy is good!

I lost the weight I gained over the 'bad decision' weekend.  However, I missed putting sensa on dinner a couple times over the weekend, so my diligent 7 days started on Monday.  So far so good.  I've made good choices, downed my H-cut for b'fast and lunch (we eat too late to take it with dinner) and have 'sprinkled' everything with the exception of the fruit I had last night.  I have been rewarded with a 216.5 weigh in this morning!    The scale had a bit of fun at my expense though.  I stepped on, waited and saw the glum number 218.  I stared at it, motionless mind you, and it flipped to 216.5.  I know better than to take a low number and run.  So I stepped on and off 3 more times.  When all three of those times also said 216.5, I decided to pat myself on the back and log it.  That puts me back at 9.8 pounds lost.  So close to that 10 pound mark!  Such a small accomplishment...but a huge one at the same time.

I'm not killing myself to fit exercise in.  I hit my Zumba class on Monday, and will go again tonight.  I meant to get my circuit workout in last night, but cleaning up the kitchen and living room won instead.  Either way, I did not eat while I was alone in the house.  THAT is a major check in the win column for me!!  So my key to success is to stay busy enough that I don't think about food.  This should be an easy task, as my house is a unending mess, and there's consistantly no less than 5 loads of laundry to do at any given time. 

School starts next week, and dance 2 weeks after that.  At that point, the mess and laundry will double.  That should mean that my weight loss and good choice efforts should multiply as well, don't you think?

Now if I could only get my 'personal' life to go in the right direction...*giggle*...

Oops...spoke too soon...lol

Well, let it be known that you cannot simply 'stop' using things and eating well and expect to see the same numbers on the scale.  I know...shocking truth, huh?  I totally laxed on my hydroxycut and sensa this weekend, got no exercise in, and made bad food choices.  The result?  Todays weigh in showed a 3.5 pound gain.  But that kinda serves me right.  I should have known better!

So now I'm gonna challenge myself...for only 7 days.  For the next 7 days, I want to be very diligent about my food choices.  I want to make sure I take my h-cut, and sprinkle the sensa on even the most minute of items I choose to eat.  I want to keep track of the calories and be very honest with myself for the next 7 days.  I want to see the true difference on the scale.

This won't be easy, as my in-laws are down from Canada, and Kel will want to have dinner with them this weekend for sure.  Tonight is dinner at our house, and we're doing chicken, corn on the cob, baked beans and rolls.  Not awful, but I'm missing out on Zumba tonight since they're coming for dinner.   I might be able to squeeze something in somewhere, but I doubt it.

So... 7 days.  It's only 7 days...

Finally, a sense of accomplishment!

For the longest time now, I have bounced back and forth around numbers between 221 and 225.  I have finally broken through and gotten into the '2-teens'!  I wish I could say for sure that it was my choices or the Sensa.  But I believe it's most likely the combination of the two.  I have not been completely diligent with adding the Sensa to every meal.  I tend to forget at dinner.  But I also have not been exercising as frequently as I have been in the past.  I have been working more in the warehouse at work lately, however.  I've been trying to make better choices food-wise, and have been moderately succesful with that.  My precious Hailey has been very good about keeping me in check.  I adore her for that!  I may not like it at the time, but it's obviously paying off.  I have lost a total of 9.8 pounds in the 2 1/2 weeks since I started the Sensa, and It's really not a burden to stick to.  I do feel silly when I use it at a restaurant...I need to find a cute little shaker to use so it's not so blatant that I'm using Sensa...lol.  All in all, I do think it's helping with my cause.  Whether it's actually doing something, or my mind just thinks it is.  Regardless, the weight is coming off...that's really all the matters!

detox=fail. Let's try Sensa day 1

The detox idea was a huge bust...Lemonberry put the brakes on that.  But the Sensa did come in yesterday so I started that with breakfast this morning.  First thing I noticed, is that I didn't notice it.  It did not change the taste of my food at all.  Granted, this may change from food to food.  But my Smart One breakfast sandwich tasted the same as it did 2 days ago.  That my friends, is a very good start.

Since I keep using the excuse of 'heat' or 'rain' to not do my outdoor walks, I decided to actually USE my treadmill in the basement.  Wouldn't you know...I popped on the tunes and jammed out for the 3.2 miles.  AND I shaved 10 minutes off my time!  I obviously stay more consistant on the machine.  My average pace was about 4.0.  I was very happy with that, and hopefully that will encourage me to hop on it more often.

I'm trying to be more dilligent about staying in my calorie range.  Alyson and Hailey help a great deal.  I've gotten them to understand that yelling at me makes me belligerent, but a sideways look accompanied by a small, quiet "Mom...?" will get me to put down whatever I'm about to shove in my mouth.  And it's working!  I went out to lunch with Alyson, and orered a Pepsi, thinking 'what the heck I'm out to lunch with my kid.'  As soon I said it she looked at me, threw a subtle "mom" my way, and it was enough to switch.  Granted, I switched to lemonade but the goal was to not drink soda.  The fact that Alyson busted me was all I needed to stay on track. 

After the holiday I hit a new all time high of 226.  This week I have tried to be consistant with calories and at least getting some exercise in, if only in the bathroom at work (giggle).  I'm down 3 lbs as of yesterday.  Hopefully the scale will be kind to me today as well.

So here's to trudging along and making the best of what time and self control I have!  Here here!

Detox day One

Ohhh my.  Let me just say that I am juggling way too many things right now.  The only thing I can have complete control over (well for the most part anyway) is what I put in my mouth, and what I do with my body.  That being said...  I'll start (or make an effort to) my detox today.  Not that I've been totally out of control.  But I did see a problem last night when I was making a huge chocolate chip pancake at 11:00pm.  That's not normal, nor is it healthy.  If want to see real change, I have to make a real change.  I told Kelly today to tell me no.  I said "I will lie, I will sneak, I will pout, I will cry, I will get mad.  But tell me f'ing NO!!"  He has a hard time with that. 

I ordered the free trial of Sensa today as well.  I'll post on that daily or so.  I just need to focus and stick to a schedule.  Well, that and stop shoveling food in my mouth :)

Cranky...hmph

Yes, I'm cranky.  That's bad news for everyone around me.   My cranky is the type of cranky that just keeps giving.  Since I am usually of good cheer and spreading happy fairy dust everywhere I go, it usually comes as a shock to people when I don't smile when they say hello.  Or when my incredulous 'whatever' follows their 'Good Morning, Stacey!'.  I become a whiner...more so than usual.  It's a pity party and I am the guest of honor.  What I generally want is for people to tell me 'yes that sucks, and I do feel bad for you'.  Luckily I get this at work.  I can vent and Jodi is always there, to lend the shoulder and the ear, and wallow with me.  Never making it seem less worthy by interjecting how awful her day is.  She lets me have my moment, and encourages me without being overly 'oh the world is candy coated and your a go getter and things will be super duper by noon!'.  Come to think of it, I'm kinda like that sometimes and should keep it in check...hmm.  No wonder people tend to roll their eyes at me.  All I get from Kel at home is, stop complaining and do something then.  No chance to vent or commisserate.  Just a heartless, I don't want to hear it, I don't care, who gives a shit 'do something about it'.  Not what I needed.

I'll be on that damn stage dancing in a week.  I have a 3 spanx combo that will hopefully keep my jelly from jiggling uncontrollably.  I will take on the role of the funny fat chick to combat my intense insecurity.  I'm really not looking forward to this, dreading it actually.  I tried to get out of it, but apparently our number is needed to give some of the dancers time to change costumes.  Dammit.  Nothing like an old, fat mom trying to be cool on stage and recapture some of the glory of days gone by when she actually looked good and could rock a stage with a pair of tap shoes.  Now it's just laughable and kind of pathetic.  Hence the funny role.  I don't want anyone to think that I actually take this seriously.  We do it for fun and the chance to get out of the house once a week and have time with friends.  I'm sure if I was 60 pounds lighter, my take on the whole thing would be entirely different.  But now, at my current jovial, busting-at-the-seams weight, it all seems a little superfluous.

So yes, be on guard because the happy, fat chick is not happy.  Best just to quietly tip toe past me.

yep, Tuesday

Happy belated mother's day!  My kids wrote me the most beautiful letters / cards.  I must be doing something right to deserve such great girls!

I thought I blew it last night, then realized when I logged the calories that my dinner was not as much as I thought!  That was a pleasant surprise.  I have a super busy night with dance and homework and projects.  hmm...I guess MY night isn't busy, my girls' night is busy.  Which of course MAKES mine busy...lol.  But I WILL get my workout in...tonight I'm putting together an all upper body routine.  So hopefully I'll be able to pick up my arms tomorrow :)

numbers for 5/14:
Budget: 1507
Food: 1848
Burn: (-556)
Net: 1292
+/- :  (-215)

Barb said that I shouldn't "make up for" calories I burn.  In other words, I should not use exercise as an excuse to eat more.  I need to focus on the quality of calories, not just strictly quantity.  Hence, I should not eat a dark chocolate bar because I have an extra 300 calories to use.  drat.   Makes perfect sense to me.  Hopefully doing so will make the scale move in the direction I want.  Because it has been stagnant at my all time high all week.  Yuck.

Playlist for upper body tonight:
Thrash Unreal - Against me
It's Alright - Ash Tisdale
Everytime We Touch - Cascada
Teenage Anarchist - Against me
She's so Gone - Lemonade Mouth
Out on the Town - Fun.
One Thing
Payphone
We Run the Night
Shake it Out - glee version for cool down stretch.

Good day!

Yesterday eating went well, aside from the fact that I waited to long to eat.  But at this stage of my game, that's a totally minor infraction!  Had my first workout with Barb today.  I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was a good mix of moves that challenged my body, but didn't turn my brain into soup...lol.  I think I'll feel the plank combo more than anything, but we'll see tomorrow.  So that fills my Friday workout void, as I plan to keep up the Friday appts with her.  That gives me Zumba on M, W; Circuit with Linda on Tues, and PT on Friday.  That leaves Thursday and the weekend.  Thursday may be on an off day, with Saturday being an extra circuit day and outdoor walk.  I may even start training to run another 5K, maybe a 10K.  But with the extra weight, running gets painful.  So we'll start with walking and move on from there when the weight starts coming off.  Plus I have my afternoon walks at work.  So I have the workouts in line....

...now to work on the eating portion...  eek.

Yesterday 5/10:
Budget: 1533
Intake:  1461
Burn:    (-395)
Net:      1066
+/-        (-467)

I did not have Lemonberry yesterday...but I'm budgeting calories for it tonight.  Kel and I are going to see Avengers, and I plan on hitting LB on the way home.  And I WILL log it!

Warmer weather!

Thankfully the season is breaking, and the temps are slowly but surely rising.  This is surely a good thing, because I can now go on walks during my lunch breaks at work.  And my handy new phone app Runmeter makes it totally easy to log, map, and keep track of my stats on my route.  Definitely a good purchase!

I'm making strides in my workouts as well!  Writing my own routines to music has made it much more enjoyable to workout.  Having Linda come down also keeps me going.  It's like I'm teaching a class, so I keep going and am totally motivated.  I cleaned out the basement and moved all my equipment down there.  I also moved the TV and DVD player down there.  So if I have a day where I didn't have a workout written, I can pop in one of the mulititude of DVDs I own. I'm slowly getting rid of all my excuses....lol. 

Starting tomorrow I will begin training with Barb.  She's a fellow dance mom, and a PT.  It's only $25 for an hour.  Much less than I was paying before.  Barb is a fitness nut, and I know she'll put me through my paces.  And she knows that I teach and workout, so I know she won't take it easy on me, or let me slack off.  And since I see her outside of workouts...I will hear it from her if I miss a day!

I've been away from the blog, and the scale numbers crept up.  After being good this week, they're back down a bit, but I'm really going to make sure it sticks.  I do want to get Lemonberry since cake batter is back, but I'll plan for it so it doesn't sabotage me.  I can't deprive myself completely, because that's what'll make me miserable and make me slip.

I won't bore you with what I ate yesterday...as I don't feel like typing the usual stuff.  But here's the numbers:

Budget: 1533
Food: 1938
Exercise: (-738)
Net: 1200
+/- : (-333)

tonights workout playlist:
Dance Again - Jlo
Starships - Nikki
Part of Me - Katy
Walk Over Me - All Amer Rej.
Country Grammar - Nelly
I Can Only Imagine - Guetta
It's Alright - Ashley Tisdale
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
One Thing - One Direction
Lover, Lover - Jarrod Niemann
Down - J Sean
7 - Prince
Bare Foot Blue Jean - Jake Owen

Feeling motivated!!

The chocolate cake was gone when I got home, and my precious Hailey even helped me to hide the cupcakes they brought home from Aunt Debbie's house.  That being said, I had only 1 tiny 165 calorie slip yesterday!  I did have some ice cream after dinner, but I had the calories to spare, and truely stuck to a half cup.  That was not the slip, by the way.  I got home from work, and in the 20 minutes between getting home and taking Hailey to work, I ate the small piece of mini pizza she did not want.  But in my defense, I did log the calories right away, and worked my ass off in my workout.  I'm on an upswing here, and am feeling very good and positive!

Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    HC Cheddar Bac Chicken  (260)
    Peaches (50)

D: Salmon (361)
    Asparagus (27)
    
LS: Nutrigrain cherry bar (120)
       Party Pizza (only 1/2 of a serving...I measured) (165)
       Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (1/2c) (150)

E: Home made circuit workout (awe-sooommmme!) (-395)

Budget:1506 Intake:1313  Burn: 395 Net 918 (-588)

I don't really like to be that far under, but just as I move on from an 'over' day, I'll move on from an under day as well.  The scale was 2 pounds lighter this morning, and I'm making sure to get my 64oz of water a day as well.  If I can move to the weekend with a 3 lb loss cushion, I should have enough motivation to carry a loss for the week.  ...fingers are crossed!

looking up...still!

This week has gotten off on a good foot!  I had 2 major successes yesterday.  First, I actually got off my butt and went for a walk on my lunch break.  1.58 miles...not too shabby.  As usual my shin splints were raging, but I worked through it and felt very accomplished when I got back to the office.  And my biggest gold star moment of the day... 

 We went the grocery store as we do every Monday.  Right before we leave, we usually grab a donut or muffin for the girls.  Kel and I sometimes get something, sometimes not.  I was determined not to undermine my efforts through the day.  I was waiting for Kel, half way up an aisle, far from the bakery.  Kel walks to me with a large pice of chocolate cake from the bakery cart.  He says to me "I'll get this, and you can help me eat it later".  Wha-wha-wha-WHAT?!?  (this is the lack of support from the home front that I consistantly whine about)  He was really just trying to be sweet, and I totally appreciate that.  But I spoke up and said "Uh...No I won't!!!" with a look of pure shock and torment.  He got an almost hurt look on his face, and went to put it back.  I back-peddaled a bit and told him he could get it for himself, but he had to hide the part he didn't finish, and promise that he wouldn't let me have any.  And guess what?  I went to bed with NO CHOCOLATE CAKE in my belly! 

A shining moment for me, I must say.

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    LC Garlic Chicken Spring rolls (200)
    Chobani Blood orange yogurt (140)

D: steak(526) ( i may be way off here, but to the high side)
     Corn (123)
     mashed potatoes (584)

LS:Nutrigrain cherry bar (120)

E: Work walk (-201)
   Zumba (-447)

Budget:1508 Intake:1873  Burn: 648 Net 1225 (-283)

Even though the scale did not reward my effort for the day, I'm happy with my choices and with a maintained weight.  I'm hoping that a string of these days this week will bring on a big drop on Monday's true weigh day.

Well that was great!

The workout last night was awesome!  It flowed, it was rockin, it hit every body part and I broke a serious sweat!  I'm hoping to do it again tonight, and maybe add in some more cardio.  My plan is to write up a new one every week.  Since it only took me 15-20 minutes for this one, it should be no problem.  Linda loved it too...which means bonus points for me for putting together a routine that I could do, could teach and was effective.  Go me!  Since I'm on a up swing, My goal for the weekend is to get on the pc at home and blog my eats from Friday and Saturday.  At the very least I want to make sure I log it all on my phone app, and then post on Monday.  If I can stick to that, I'm absolutely sure I will maintain, and hopefully lose over my always rough weekends!

Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
    Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    HC chick bac cheddar (260)
    Peaches (50)

D: Salmon(361)
     Asparagus(1c) (27)
     LC Spring rolls (200)

LS: pc of cake (360)

E:  Strength routine  (-210) i forgot to put my HRM on, so this is my best guess based on how I felt through the routine.

Budget:1503 Intake:1438  Burn: 210 Net 1228 (-275)

The scale showed no difference this morning, but it was a crazy hectic night with me not being able to sit for dinner until almost 10pm (eek).  So that would totally account for the non-loss on a very good day.  No worries about that, I understand and am totally ok with it!

Ah, I feel renewed today

I subbed for Sara last night, teaching the Zumba class while she is out of town.  I threw some new routines at them, and certainly gave them some variety and added toning to the class.  Joie loved it...said I was an awesome instructor.  But she's my cousin, sooo she's kinda obligated.  The rest of the class seemed to have fun, and there were a lot more smiles and laughs than I usually see, but maybe that's cause I was paying attention to it...lol.  I certainly think I burn more calories teaching than I do taking the class...probably because I'm running my mouth and singing....lol.

Today I have written a strength routine to music that I plan to try out with Linda tonight.  I'm excited about it!  I don't know why I didn't think of this type of thing sooner.  Choreographed strength training to Music...duh, it's so obviously my thing!  Here's the playlist:

Air Force Ones (Nelly): Biceps & Triceps
Best Love Song (T-Pain): Legs combo
Dance Again (JLo): Cardio Blast
I Can Only Imagine (David Guetta): Shoulders
Somebody I Used To Know (Glee version): Glutes
Pegate (Grupo Treo): Cardio Blast
Anybody Out There (Knaan): Chest/Back
Titanium (David Guetta): Inner & Outer Thighs
We Run the Night (Pitbull): Abs

So I'll let you know tomorrow how that works out!!

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
     HC chick bac cheddar (260)
     Peaches (50)

D: Pork Chop (354)
     White Rice (1/2c) (121)
     Asian Medley Veggies (3/4c) (38)

LS: pc of cake (360)

E: Zumba 45 (-500)
Budget:1517 Intake:1362  Burn: 500 Net 862 (-655)

I kinda had the cake because I looked at my calories and realized i was under budget by 1000...figured that wasn't good....   But I was 2 pounds lighter this morning!  Yay!

just, whatever

I'm entirely frustrated right now, and for once it's not all about the weight issue.  It's revolving around the world of dance and my oldest daughter.  I can't even really get into it, but basically, what I want for her I can't give her.  And what I can give her, isn't enough.  And if I could give her more, I don't think she would ever go anywhere else.  I sound oh so very cryptic, don't I?  Ugh....

Anyways...Easter kicked my ass and I gained yet again.  I'm now .6 above my all time high.  Meaning I've reached a new all time high.  Yippee.


Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
Special K Shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   HC chick bac cheddar (260)
   Peaches (50)

D: Salmon (361)
     Asparagus (27)
     Stuffing (wtf?) (320)

LS:Baked Scoops and salsa (300)
      small pc of cake (120) (again wtf?)

E: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1517 Intake:1618  Burn: 433 Net 1185 (-322)

I'm teaching Sara's class tonight since she's out of town.  I brought the HR monitor, so I'll get a good idea of my calorie burn, then I have tap class after that.  Hopefully I can post a loss tomorrow.  I need something to pick my spirits up.

yet another rude awakening

I will not traumatize you with the gorey details of my latest eye-opener.  It would be a horrific case of TMI, and I don't think I could verbalize it even if I wanted to...lol.  I'll just say that my current size has interferred in a way I didn't think I would ever let happen.  And my night ended in embarassed and shameful tears.

With all of the 'in my face' motivators around me lately I have had no shortage of reasons to stay on the right path.  Yet, it remains incredibly difficult for me.  I have no excuses, just a lack of willpower or 'stick-to-it-tiveness', if you will.  I'm sure it would help tremendously if I had someone to tell me 'NO fatty, stop putting that in your mouth.'  In reality, it would be simpler if I would just be that person myself.  Actually, that's the ONLY way this will work for me.

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake  (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   Applebees with Kelly - Parm shrimp & sirloin from the 550 menu (540)

D: Pork Chop (354)
     Au Gratin Potatos (3/4c) (150)
     Asian veggies (3/4c)  (38)

LS:Lemonberry (spring break is killing me...lol but I only got a small portion) (485)

E: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1504 Intake:1746  Burn: 433  Net 1313 (-191)

See?  The exercise allowed the smaller portion of Lemonberry, and my well behaved choice at Applebees paid off.  I was down 1 pound this morning from Monday's weigh in.  It's a small consolation, but positive reinforcement at least.  The hard part will be making choices through the holiday weekend that will still show a loss when I weigh in Monday.  Keep your fingers crossed.

again...my own worst enemy

I'm walking around yesterday thinking how odd my back feels.  Can't quite put my finger on the problem, but something certainly feels funny.  I do some stretches to try to figure out what's going on.  Like a friggin Mack truck it hits me.  Holy. Shit.  That weird feeling in my back is the sensation of my fat rolls touching.  My back fat has met my ass/waist fat, and they are getting acquainted.  My mind frantically races through the various episodes of 'My 600 lb Life' that I have seen.  The crud that gathers in the creases where the fat meets.  Watching them pull apart the rolls to see what horror lies within.  Holy fuck...is this the beginning?   No, no, no, no...this is not happening.  It's no wonder Kelly makes no effort to have sex with me!  This disturbing thought sticks with me all day, and I stick to my eating plan.  Could this be the trigger?  Could this be the rock at the bottom that I've been waiting to hit?

According to the Lemonberry I had last night, the answer is no.

Yesterday's eats:
B: Hydroxycut
Special K Strawberry shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
Healthy Choice Ched. Bac Chicken (240)
Peaches (50)

AS: -

D: Tacos (1026) based on the total of my best guesses (rounded up of course)

LS: Trail Bologna (110)
  Lemonberry (485)

Ex: -
Budget:1504 Intake:2091  Burn: -  Net 1660 (+587)

Lesson here?  I would have been ok with either exercise or no Lemonberry.  Dammit.

It's all on me.

I've said it before, I'll say it again; Losing weight sucks.  And for you weight watchers...yes, lifestyle changes suck too.  So there.  But if it's going to happen, it has to be me that does it.  I can't count on Kelly to tell me not to eat something I shouldn't.  He's really not good at it anyway.  I shouldn't rely on my kids to smack me and yell at me when I want to buy cake at the grocery store.  Although, they are VERY good at that, and I think they enjoy it a bit too much.  Yep, I have to make it work.  I have to make better choices, and hit the gym when I don't want to.  I love Zumba and all, but 2 cardio classes a week is not sufficient exercise.  I need weights, and I need to do it myself. 

I bought a bathing suit...and made sure it was a 2 piece so I could take proper before pictures.  Hopefully I can make Kelly take them tonight, and I'll start that infamous scrapbook this weekend.  Hopefully that bathing suit will start to look more and more attractive on me.  Then maybe I'll actually wear it when we take that vacation we keep talking about...lol.  At that point I can cross off "wear a bikini is public" from my bucket book.

Yesterday's eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Strawberry shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   6" turkey breast sub w/ provolone (380)

AS: Peanut Butter Crackers (190)

D: Strip Steak (526) (not sure on size, but I'll go heavy to be sure)
     Mashed potatos (584) (again with portion)
     Corn (123)

LS: Trail Bologna (110)

Ex: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1504  Intake:2093  Burn:433  Net 1660  (+156)

Should have taken it easy on the potatoes, and nixed the trail bologna...totally un-necessary.  bah.

Surreal

I'm sitting here, mindlessly working away and sometimes taking a break to catch a couple paragraphs of Catching Fire.  It happens every day, around this time.  But today it totally struck me differently.  Some people I work with returned from lunch.  As I watch them walk by, I am hit by the fact that they are so totally fit, dedicated to their workout schedule, and some so dedicated to their nutritional intake.  How can their dedication not somehow rub off on me?  I sit here and wonder if they look at me and think I am a weak unhealthy soul who may talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.  Because really, I am just that.  They are what I aspire to be; healthy, fit, energetic and lets face it, good looking.  I need to figure out how to take their accomplishments and turn them into inspiration for myself.  They have no fear of the workout, no worries about looking inferior in a room full of exercisers.  They have the discipline to eat what their body needs for fuel, and not whatever sounds delicious at the time.  They are not so different than me.  They have wives, they have children, they have a job.  Their kids are all as active as mine, and they are just as present in those activities as I am.  What lessons can I learn here?  How can I make their daily routine a turning point for my motivation?  Something's gotta give here, maybe I just need to pay closer attention.

pick it up and move on!

My diet went on vacation last week with Kelly.  Yes, totally true.  But I only gained 2(from my original gain lol), and I lost them last night at Zumba, so all is ok...I guess.

But I feel surprisingly renewed.  My new shipment of shakes comes in this week, and I can't wait to get back to them.  I love the chocolate, and love experimenting with new add-in flavors.  But the Greenberry...oh the Greenberry.  It's just amazing how totally other end of the spectrum nasty the Greenberry is...lol.  But never the less...I shall get back to the chocolate as soon as they arrive at my door!  I need to meet with Nancy to look at the annex building in Litchfield to see about doing a Zumba class there.  Hopefully that goes well.  I also need to get my rump to Curves and sign up.  Not sure what's holding me back other than fear of something new.  Whatever, let's get past THAT quickly, shall we??

2/27 Budget: 1491
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Strawberry Protein shake (180)
L: Hydroxycut
     HC Smoky Chick Bac Ched (260)
     Chobani Blood Orange Greek Yogurt (140)
D: Ribeye steak (451)
     Mashed potatos (390)
     Cream Corn    (123)
S:  Dove Dark Chocolate-4 squares (142)
E:  Zumba 45m  (-433)
Total: 1686 in, 433 out  NET 1253 (238 under budget)

And the WINNER is......!!!!

Congratulations to...



CAS!  with a total percentage loss of 7.08%!!  The $30.00 cash prize will be awarded to her!  AS came in second with an amazing 6.12% loss.  Way to go ladies, your hard work paid off!  Keep up the great work and you'll be at your goal weight in no time!

MF   -2.85%
Pix   -1.38%
Jac    -.49%
Tc     +2.3%

As for me, I'm still going to work hard and try to figure out what works for me.  It seems to be a never ending process!  I'll keep posting new and interesting weightloss tidbits, and as always keep updating with the results of my efforts.  This week is a rebuilding week for me.  I need to revamp my process and find a schedule that works with my busy life.  I know I can do it, it's just not incredibly easy.  But let's face it, if it was I wouldn't be overweight to begin with.

I'm looking for new places to teach, and think I may promote it as Big Pixie Fitness & Zumba...Fitness for the Fitness Challenged!

And if you'd like another challenge, just let me know.  I'm sure I can come up with something to keep you motivated...even if it is just another 10 week winner take all!

So February is not turning out to be my month

I did have grand, high hopes for February.  So far, it's letting me down.  Which actually means that I'm letting myself down.  boo.  Kel's pending diagnosis, not fitting in workouts, dance fees I can't afford, my Zumba classes being cancelled, weight loss at a total standstill (and sometimes incline).  Phew, I need to take hold of something good and cling to it for all it's worth! 

Today's goodness:  I have not eaten any donuts on the table in the lunchroom.  I swear people are trying to sabotage me.

Today's Budget: 1478
B: Shakeology with Caramel (283)
L: HC Chick Bac Ched dinner (260)
     Chobani Rasp (140)
S: Fiber one bar (130)
D: uhh....pork chops maybe?  with mashed potatos and green beans? (719)
Ex: tap class (-158)
Net for day: 1374

losing weight sucks

Ok i take that back.  Losing weight doesn't suck.  Actually losing is fantastic!  However, the sacrifices and work that have to be done in order to lose said weight?  Yeah, that totally sucks.  And I'm completely fed up with it.  I worked hard for 2 weeks and had no benefit from it.  I don't meticulously count for 2 1/2 days and I gain 3 f**king pounds.  The un-fairness in that alone is enough to make me binge on chocolate and candy and pastry for a month.  If I wasn't so terrified that my husband saw absolutely nothing attractive about me any more, I'd totally just give up.  I don't like feeling like this, but I don't like depriving myself either.  I got up this morning and just felt old.  I didn't like it. 

Here are my top reasons to scare myself into losing:
*  I have to be on stage dancing a tap routine in 4 months
*  I have to be on a beach in Hilton Head in 5 months (hopefully)
*  My before pics...eeeeshh (shudder)
*  I really don't think Kel's attracted to me at this weight (um, at all)
*  Seriously, I want to wear my jeans again.  I love yoga pants and all, but something without an elastic waist would be nice.
*  I'd like to shop in misses and not plus again.
*  I want to embarass my kids in ways other than being a fat mom

Today's budget: 1461
B:  Shakeology w/ skim milk and 1T low sugar red raspberry jam (258)
L: Hydroxycut
     HC ched bac chicken meal (260)
S: Fiber One Choc Caramel Coc. bar (130)
S2: Chobani Raspberry (140)
D: Turkey Brat (2)  corn (1/2 c) and Mandarin orange 458
E: Zumba 45m (-433)
plan NET: 814

Ridiculous

I've been very good for 2 weeks.  Stayed in my calorie range, exercised almost daily, cut back on the sugary stuff. The scale hasn't budged.  Not cool.  I can feel myself already starting to fight off the the 'what difference does it make' binge urge.  If I'm not gonna lose anything, not a single tenth of a pound, after being totally accountable and conscientious for two weeks, why bother denying myself what I want?  Totally destructive behavior, and I recognize that.  But still, it pisses me off and is totally discouraging.  I shall persevere, I mean really, it's gotta come off at some point, right?  RIGHT?!?!?  ugh.

So, Here are last weeks stats from the challenge!!

Cas  -6.22%
As   -5.11%
Pixie -1.12%
Jac   -.49%
Tc      0%

There's just one week left after today's weigh in.  Big push to the finish!!!

Foiled Again

With such good intentions and a fool proof plan, I was sure I'd get my workout in last night.  Alas those best laid plans are all too often put asunder.  Came home to find Hailey needing some help with homework.  No problem, I'll workout after I drop her off at dance.  Off to the studio we go, oh darn, I forgot I was staying at the studio to work on the headbands, which is the reason I wanted to squeeze the workout in before I left. 

Damn.

 Ok, new plan.  Drop Hailey, do headbands, come home workout, grab Alyson at 8:45.  Ok, good.  Made it to the studio, does this solution work for the headbands Miss Kelly?  Perfect!  Take the girls for the cookie run, back to the studio, phone call from Kelly in Cincy. Alyson needs new tights and skirt...ok, quick run into the boutique.  Time to work on headbands, oh wait...Madison needs her mask fixed.  Miss Kelly, any new ideas??  ok, now to work on headbands...oh wait...Hailey's done with class already?  Crap, ok let's go home so I can eat before 9:00.

 Time for dinner!  Shit, was there something I was supposed to be doing?  No, I need to eat before 9:00pm.  It's 8:00 and dinner is ready, turn on some Glee and watch the sexiness that IS Ricky Martin while I eat my healthy stuff.  8:30...need to leave in 10 minutes to get Alyson.  SHIT!!!  I was supposed to workout when I got home!  Erg.  Well there's no way I'm gonna fit it in at 9:00 when I get back...

On a bright note...I got up early and did the workout this morning.  On a sour note...I had a bowl of chocolate cheerios last night for a snack.

So I ended up at 1538 cals yesterday.  77 over my budget. *sigh*   For today....

Budget: 1461  Planned (Net):789
B: hydroxycut
     Shakeology with Banana, skim milk and 2tsp choc syrup (372)
L: hydroxycut
     HC chick Bac Ched dinner (260)
S: Fiber One Choc Caramel Coconut bar (130)
D: LC Garlic Chicken Spring Rolls (400)
     Steamfry Chicken flavored rice (230)
TVS: Popcorn (smart pop light butter) (68)
W: Kendall DVD (-185)
      Zumba (-385)
      Tap class (-136)

Here's to a successful plan execution today....

baby steps I guess...back and forth

ugh.  That sums up how I feel.  The Brazilian workout that I did gave my knees some serious pain.  Marjie said the other didn't do that, but now I'm discouraged to try.  Kelly's out of town for work, and I miss him.  Been gone for a week, and won't be home till next Monday.  I've eaten extremely well and exercised for the last 2 1/2 weeks, and the scale this morning showed that I was heavier today than Friday...by 3 pounds.  I don't know how many more adjustments I can make, or what other justifications I can use.  All I have right now, is that my body is getting used to the Shakeology.  The chocolate shakes are good.  I've added, Peanut butter, banana, pb and banana, and mint extract.  The Green berry however is rather disgusting.  Can't stomache that one at all.  Not sure if I can exchange or trade or anything, but if not, I'm out that money and will have to order more chocolate to round out the month.

I did buy a mini calendar that I planned out my shake and workout for the entire month.  I took my measurements again, and of course they went up from last time...that was obvious and not a shock at all.  I've gained 15 since my last measurements.  But I needed to take them for the BB challenge, so I have a starting point. 

Today's plan: budget 1461
B: hydroxycut and Mint choc Shakeology (233)
L: hydroxycut and Healthy Choice Chick Bac Ched. (260)
S: Fiber One Choc. Caramel Coconut bar (130)
D: Turkey Brat (2) and Pierogies(5) Sour cream (3T) (582)
TVS: Smartpop light (102)
W: Kendall Strength DVD  (-200)
Net: 1107

Challenge Update!

As the weigh in's have dwindled...there are about 5 consistant submissions...I will only list the people that email me with updates!  These are the stats for last week:

Cas:  -5.57%  (awesome!!)
MF:  -3.31%
pixie: -.56% (finally a minus!)
Jac:   -.49%
Tc:   +2.3%

So there's where we stand currently.  But lookout Cas...I got my Beach Body package so I'm planning on making a surge for the next 2 weeks!  Today is a weigh in day, so shoot me your weights so I can update the stats!

I've been getting many emails with such good information and tips from Fitness, Active and Live Well.  Here a some of the best links I've come across:

*Hit a rut in your workout routine, or plateaued with your toning results?  Try these tips to put some new fire in your current routine!

*These moves from Brooke Burke are interesting, innovative and get results!

*Bust out of your workout rut and banish excuses!  I loved this article!

*Need new dinner ideas?  Try these 500 calorie dinners to change it up!

I'm starting the Beach Body journey today.  Had a choco peanut butter shake this morning, and will start the Brazilian Butt lift DVD's tonight.  Today's workout includes Booty Basics and BumBum...for a total of 55 minutes.  I'll let you know how I feel tomorrow...  :)

New Direction!

I won't post weigh in results just yet, as I haven't heard from some of my Monday weigh'ers.  I will update that later this week.

As for me, I maintained all weekend long.  This is a huge deal for me, as I usually put what I lost through the week, right back on during the weekend.  The fact that I maintained, means that I will show a loss 2 weeks in a row.  THAT makes me thrillingly happy!

As you know, in my last post I was thinking about doing the Beach Body challenge with the Shakeology drinks.  I got a sample from my local Beach Body coach and tried it out this weekend.  I was pleasantly surprised!  I used the chocolate Shakeology mix, and blended it with 1 cup of 2% milk (would normally use skim but didn't have any on hand) 1 tablespoon of peanut butter and 3 ice cubes.  It was very thick, so I'd add more ice next time around.  But surprisingly tasty for a diet type shake.  And it made more than I was expecting.  I used one of the Coke glasses you got free from McDonalds (appropriate, don't you think??) and it was filled completely, just below the top of the glass.  Someone had stated that the recipe I used tasted like a melted Reese cup, and I'd venture to say that it wasn't far off!
Weekends are very hard for me food wise.  I have a hard time keeping myself occupied enough to 'not' eat.  It's usually bad things, sugary things, that I'm ingesting.  I had my shake at 9:30am to replace breakfast.  Believe it or not, I did not think about food at all until 2:30, when I realized I hadn't been hungry all day!  That was a huge bonus and selling point for me.  So I bit the bullet and joined the challenge.  At 160.00, it's not cheap.  But that got me the entire Brazillian Butt Lift workout line, and a 1 month supply of the Shakeology.  When I need more, I will only have to pay $82.00 for a 30 day supply, since I'm a Beach Body member.  I'm still not clear if there is a monthly membership, but I'll find that out post haste.

So I'll keep you updated on how this Beach Body thing works out.  I have totally high hopes for this!!

update!

here are the current standings...I only got 4 weigh in's this week!

Cas  -5.12% (wow!)
AS   -4.70%
Jac   -.49%
pixie +.37% (so close to hitting my start!  lol)

I did not get weigh in's from the rest of you, so if you have it, let me know!  Cas has obviously been working her lil butt off...literally!  Nice Job!

I was invited to start a BeachBody challenge by a fellow Zumba instructor.  She is a Beach Body trainer, licensed and all.  It looks great and all, and there's a fancy shmancy shake that goes along with it.  The downfall (besides the fact the cost has not been disclosed) is that it's based a great deal around doing a Beach Body video consistently at home.  In case you are not familiar, Beach Body videos are P90X, Insanity and Turbo Fire etc.  Highly intense workouts.  Now, I know myself very well.  The reason I don't already do these videos, is because I know I will not put forth maximum effort alone in my living room.  As soon as it gets too hard, I'll quit.  Now, if I was in a class in a group setting, that's a whole different story.  I'll be damned if I give up in front of a group of people.  If have only learned one thing about my workout preferences over the years, it's that I am totally a group fitness person.  I have to have that competitive fire...even if I'm not competing, and don't know the other people in the room.  I work harder knowing that someone is watching me, and would see me fail and or give up.  I emailed the trainer this, so we'll see if she has any options.  I don't think she's terribly local, so I'm pretty sure she doesn't teach a class around here.

Has anyone ever done or have more info on Beach Body challenges??

I obviously, cannot be trusted

...with food that is!  I am a bona-fide closet eater.  To a ridiculously nonsensical extent actually.  I had done relatively well all week with my food choices (ok upon further review, I did not do as well as I thought since I had funeral dinner days this week), and then was left alone for the better part of the weekend.  If I'm left alone with food, I cave.  If I go to the grocery store alone, bad things happen.  I went to the store to get toilet paper and cleaner...I came home with a a package of cookies...and McDonalds.  (**On a more positive note I did NOT get pop...haven't had a soda since 1/3!!)  Of course the guilt of having the girls or Kelly SEE that I caved made me then inhale said cookies (yes the whole package) before they got home.  Then I buried the McD's bag in the garbage so no one could see I had it.  OH!  Let's back track shall we??  I went to Buehlers on Friday during my lunch break for snacks to take to game night with the family.  I ended up leaving with a package of Troyers sugar cookies...and again proceeded to eat all but 4 before Kelly got home.  Then I hid them, and had the remaining 4 with breakfast Saturday morning and again buried the packaging in the trash.  I think I have a serious issue, and I am at a loss on how to conquer my sugar cravings.  I know eating sugar makes you want more sugar, and trust me...I can totally vouche for that being true.  When I go on a sugar bender, I go full force!  So the damage from the weekend, and my inability to say no when Kelly says "dinner out tonight?" ?  I am up 3.5 since Friday.  This is getting ridiculous, and I just may need an intervention.

update!

So not many of you emailed me with a weigh in this week.  So I'll put standings for thus far in the challenge, regardless of the date of your last weigh in.

AS:  -3.72%
Cas: -3.0%
MF: -2.85%
wtf: -2.27%
Jac: - .89%
LS: - .47%
TC:   0%
pixiestc: +1.66%

That's where we stand as of right now!  So get your weigh in's to me, or your start weights! 

Kel and I have decided to take a getaway vacation.  The plan is to go late February.  Which means I have about 6-7 weeks to look at least semi decent.  The thought of going away to somewhere that I would have to dress beachy, absolutely terrifies me.  I am sooo unhappy in my own skin at this point that I can't even look in a mirror without crying.  Ew.  So...  Zumba with Sarah on Monday's, Spin class on Tuesday, Tap class on Weds, Zumba at either the studio or the town hall or my living room on Thursday.  I'm going to bite the bullet and join Curves.  I'm back to squeezing in some weight lifting exercises during bathroom breaks.  I'm back on the Hydroxycut.  Now I just need to get some willpower over food.  That's always my downfall.  If I can get Kelly to help me, I can do it.  Unfortunately, he usually isn't very helpful on the food front...lol.

Check out this article for motivational tips!  This workout is crazy good, withough being crazy difficult!

I've been good taking pictures for my scrapbook...some busy mornings have made me miss a couple.  But I think I have 3 sets so far (front and side view).  Lets just say....um, blech.  But I'll get the January page posted when it's done. (fingers crossed).

ka-frazzled!

I am currently a mixed bag of irritated, frustrated, pissed off, discourgaed, stressed out, determined and exasperated.  My brain can not seem to focus on one thing, as I feel like I have a million things that need to be accomplished.  None of these 'things' can keep my attention long enough to be completed.  Not that I have an unusually short attention span, I just seem to be losing focus.  The one thing that I seem to have no problem accomplishing??  Shoving food in my mouth that seems to be forever piling onto every unattractive inch of my expanding body.  I can feel every potato chip that I ate last night.  They settled comfortably and evenly onto each one of my ass cheeks, lovingly surrounded by the chip dip that accompanied them.  The cheesy potato leftovers made a home on my right love handle, while the coke bottle gummies fit right onto the the left one.  I can feel my 'bra fat' slowly adjusting to make room for the banana and pumpkin bread that are calling to me from the table in the lunch room, while the butter that will undoubtedly go on it will more than likely end up on my second chin.

I am extending the challenge to 2/15.  At that point a winner will be crowned and the monies paid out.  I'll probably start another challenge right after that.  For the current contest, any new starters will start fresh, while those of you that have been so good, will keep your current loss percentage and continue to build on it.  I have received challenge money from:

Cas
Jac
As
TC
pixiestc

So let's go!  I'm getting back on my horse and trying to get a solid workout plan in motion.  I have new links to share and will have them up soon.  If I can turn the vacuum cleaner that is my mouth off, I might be able to make up some ground!

oh dear.

yes, i did what I said I wouldn't do.  I let my weight totally balloon over the holiday break.  I'm at my heaviest weight ever.  223.  How the f*ck did I let that happen?  It is what it is, and I need to deal with it.  and I am.  I bought a new HR monitor with the chest strap to help with my tracking.  I'm getting my workout schedule finalized.  My biggest hurdle is food.  i just like it.  A bit too much.  I need to gradually scale back my calories and drastically cut back the sugar.  That's the hard part...I love sugary stuff.  But baby steps need to be taken before i can make giant leaps.  I've learned this from experience.  so again, here we go from the beginning.

I have gotten weigh in's from several of you during the break.  Gold stars for you!  I'm going to extend the competition...if I have no objections.  I can't end the challenge at a 'plus' percentage.  That's a shitty way to start the new year!  I have some serious catching up to do with those of you who lost over the holiday!  My hat is off to you, and I am using you as my motivation to get back on my horse!

I just feel very cluttered right now.  My house is still in holiday hangover mode, and It needs some serious de-cluttering and organizing.  My diet is in shambles, and my exercise routine has all but disappeared.  I'm making up my resolution list, which I usually do monthly ie: 1 resolution for each month.  This year i have decided to just do a weightloss scrapbook.  A photo taken on the first of each month, with my goals to accomplish on one page, and the opposite page showing my results from the previous months goals.   Pages in between will feature any accomplishments I achieve not having to do with my listed goals.  We'll see how this pans out.  I'll share the scrapbook with you as it progresses.

As for challenge updates, I'm getting there.  I'm a little discouraged, and updated the challenge seems daunting at this point.  But all of you are depending on me, and that will keep me going!

Again, if anyone wants to jump in the challenge for the New Year, please do so.  Still $5.00...still winner take all.  CAS and AS are leading the way right now!  you GO girls!!