This may be tricky...

The weekend was a bust.  Seriously...there was no dieting.  Well wait, unless you count the fact that I only had a Caesar salad for dinner on Friday because I didn't want to spend 20.00 on a meal at the hotel restaraunt.  That was totally negated by the fact that I had McD's for lunch and a Swiss Cake Roll for dessert.  That and whatever else I ate that I have blocked from my memory.  It was all a food laden musical blur.  *side note...the convention was fantastic!  I had a super time watching the dancers teach, and watching my daughter (and shared daughters) learn from some of their favorite dance stars.  It was a great experience that I plan on making happen every year.**

Then comes yesterday.  My day was great.  I got an elliptical workout in, ate perfectly all day.  Then I left work.  I heard a noise from something rolling around in the back seat.  I quickly realize that it's a Pringles can left from the weekend.  I told myself that I needed to grab it so all the chips wouldn't break and turn into garbage.  Let's face it.  That's not the reason I grabbed that can.  That's just how I justified it.  I proceeded to eat about 15 chips before I could blink 5 times.  When I finally gained consciousness again, I put the lid back on and threw the chips in the floor of the front seat.  I have no idea why, but I remembered that there was a sleeve of town house crackers (only 4 or 5 crackers left) in the door handle of the rear drivers side door.  I'm not sure what happened, but I reached back a red light, grabbed the sleeve and proceeded to eat the crackers before the light turned green.  W.T.F.  Oh but that wasn't all.  I decided that I really only ate 300 calories through the day, and had to have my granola bar that was sitting next to me.  Keep in mind, my drive home is only 30 minutes....  I am currently disgusted with myself and my behavior.

I got home and regrouped.  Cleaned up the kitchen and living room for the 40 minutes I'm home before I have to leave to take Alyson to dance.  Not a morsel went into my mouth.  Of course not, you see, because I had other people present and didn't want to be reprimanded by them.  Off to the studio, drop off Alyson and head to the grocery store with Hailey.  All goes as planned.  I get the kids their muffins and got nothing for me.  Again, because Hailey was there and wouldn't let that happen, so I didn't even bother trying.  Back to the studio to wait for Alyson, and get caught up on any loose Dance Company end that needed tied.  Back home around 8:35 or so, and unload groceries to come in and find that Kelly has ordered Dominics.  Fried Chicken, JoJo's, cold slaw, rolls, waffle fries and cheese to dip.  Fuck.  There goes any hope of salvaging the day.  I eat like it's my first and last meal (well, between getting up 3-5 times to help with homework, braid hair before bed, give goodnights and what not.)  Then I realize I have leftover Lemonberry in the freezer.  What the hell, might as well get rid of it while I'm on a roll.

What a shameful display of gluttony.  I have high hopes that perhaps today I can do something to make myself proud to be me.  Cause right now, phew, I'm feeling pretty embarassed...

.....but I did clean the food out of the car.... 

November 1st, Ack!!

Well this certainly came up quick!  Damn.  I'm currently coming down off my food coma state that I put myself in knowing that this day was rapidly approaching.  FYI...I don't reccommend it.  But there is no sense of guilt today.  I enjoyed my indulgence, and now it's time to work.  Oddly enought, I already find myself making excuses to not workout.  Todays excuse...I wrote off the gym because I knew I had tap class later.  Then tap class was cancelled.  Did I change my mind and head to the gym?  Nope.  I was already out of that mindset and there was no going back.  So now I'm justifying it by telling myself I'm easing into it.  Yeah right.  I'll detox the diet now, and add the exercise back in next week.  Bahahaha...whatever I gotta tell myself I suppose.  That 30 pounds ain't gonna 'excuse' itself off my frame.  I did find a cute 10 minute stair workout that I can do during TV time tonight.  It's not thinky at all.  Simple and brainless...perfect for doing while I'm scolding whatever judge/contestant happens to be on the tube at that moment.

Food choices today?  Totally on target!  WW breakfast sandwich, campbells chicken egg noodle soup, and a granola bar.  Maybe a 50cal can of peaches to hold me till dinner before I go home.  Ah home.  That's where the real challenge comes in.  I know what's there.  A bowl of mini m&m's and chocolate chips left over from Hailey's halloween party yesterday.  A container of Pumpkin donut holes that Kel needed from the store.  Extra packages of blueberry mini muffins.  Small bite size things that I shove aimlessly into my mouth without even realizing I'm doing it.  THAT's where the trouble happens.  Focus and kitchen diversion will be key.

And then there's this weekend.  Aye.  A weekend away at a dance convention where all of my time will be spent patiently waiting for Alyson, Madison and Lauren to be finished with classes.  That's 8 hours of nothing, followed by dinner and lunch at hotel restaraunts.  Well, that should be a piece a' cake.

One thing I know, is that I will be taking my trusty purple binder with me this weekend.  Along with several blank calendar pages.  I'll spend some time making a workout schedule, and making playlists to go with those workouts.  That way, when I do get back home and am ready to add the workouts back in on Monday, I won't have to think about what to do.  It'll all be mapped out for me.  If there's one thing I've learned about this weight loss and exercise thing...

The less thinky I have to be about it, the better.