Feeling motivated!!

The chocolate cake was gone when I got home, and my precious Hailey even helped me to hide the cupcakes they brought home from Aunt Debbie's house.  That being said, I had only 1 tiny 165 calorie slip yesterday!  I did have some ice cream after dinner, but I had the calories to spare, and truely stuck to a half cup.  That was not the slip, by the way.  I got home from work, and in the 20 minutes between getting home and taking Hailey to work, I ate the small piece of mini pizza she did not want.  But in my defense, I did log the calories right away, and worked my ass off in my workout.  I'm on an upswing here, and am feeling very good and positive!

Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    HC Cheddar Bac Chicken  (260)
    Peaches (50)

D: Salmon (361)
    Asparagus (27)
    
LS: Nutrigrain cherry bar (120)
       Party Pizza (only 1/2 of a serving...I measured) (165)
       Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (1/2c) (150)

E: Home made circuit workout (awe-sooommmme!) (-395)

Budget:1506 Intake:1313  Burn: 395 Net 918 (-588)

I don't really like to be that far under, but just as I move on from an 'over' day, I'll move on from an under day as well.  The scale was 2 pounds lighter this morning, and I'm making sure to get my 64oz of water a day as well.  If I can move to the weekend with a 3 lb loss cushion, I should have enough motivation to carry a loss for the week.  ...fingers are crossed!

looking up...still!

This week has gotten off on a good foot!  I had 2 major successes yesterday.  First, I actually got off my butt and went for a walk on my lunch break.  1.58 miles...not too shabby.  As usual my shin splints were raging, but I worked through it and felt very accomplished when I got back to the office.  And my biggest gold star moment of the day... 

 We went the grocery store as we do every Monday.  Right before we leave, we usually grab a donut or muffin for the girls.  Kel and I sometimes get something, sometimes not.  I was determined not to undermine my efforts through the day.  I was waiting for Kel, half way up an aisle, far from the bakery.  Kel walks to me with a large pice of chocolate cake from the bakery cart.  He says to me "I'll get this, and you can help me eat it later".  Wha-wha-wha-WHAT?!?  (this is the lack of support from the home front that I consistantly whine about)  He was really just trying to be sweet, and I totally appreciate that.  But I spoke up and said "Uh...No I won't!!!" with a look of pure shock and torment.  He got an almost hurt look on his face, and went to put it back.  I back-peddaled a bit and told him he could get it for himself, but he had to hide the part he didn't finish, and promise that he wouldn't let me have any.  And guess what?  I went to bed with NO CHOCOLATE CAKE in my belly! 

A shining moment for me, I must say.

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    LC Garlic Chicken Spring rolls (200)
    Chobani Blood orange yogurt (140)

D: steak(526) ( i may be way off here, but to the high side)
     Corn (123)
     mashed potatoes (584)

LS:Nutrigrain cherry bar (120)

E: Work walk (-201)
   Zumba (-447)

Budget:1508 Intake:1873  Burn: 648 Net 1225 (-283)

Even though the scale did not reward my effort for the day, I'm happy with my choices and with a maintained weight.  I'm hoping that a string of these days this week will bring on a big drop on Monday's true weigh day.

Well that was great!

The workout last night was awesome!  It flowed, it was rockin, it hit every body part and I broke a serious sweat!  I'm hoping to do it again tonight, and maybe add in some more cardio.  My plan is to write up a new one every week.  Since it only took me 15-20 minutes for this one, it should be no problem.  Linda loved it too...which means bonus points for me for putting together a routine that I could do, could teach and was effective.  Go me!  Since I'm on a up swing, My goal for the weekend is to get on the pc at home and blog my eats from Friday and Saturday.  At the very least I want to make sure I log it all on my phone app, and then post on Monday.  If I can stick to that, I'm absolutely sure I will maintain, and hopefully lose over my always rough weekends!

Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
    Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
    HC chick bac cheddar (260)
    Peaches (50)

D: Salmon(361)
     Asparagus(1c) (27)
     LC Spring rolls (200)

LS: pc of cake (360)

E:  Strength routine  (-210) i forgot to put my HRM on, so this is my best guess based on how I felt through the routine.

Budget:1503 Intake:1438  Burn: 210 Net 1228 (-275)

The scale showed no difference this morning, but it was a crazy hectic night with me not being able to sit for dinner until almost 10pm (eek).  So that would totally account for the non-loss on a very good day.  No worries about that, I understand and am totally ok with it!

Ah, I feel renewed today

I subbed for Sara last night, teaching the Zumba class while she is out of town.  I threw some new routines at them, and certainly gave them some variety and added toning to the class.  Joie loved it...said I was an awesome instructor.  But she's my cousin, sooo she's kinda obligated.  The rest of the class seemed to have fun, and there were a lot more smiles and laughs than I usually see, but maybe that's cause I was paying attention to it...lol.  I certainly think I burn more calories teaching than I do taking the class...probably because I'm running my mouth and singing....lol.

Today I have written a strength routine to music that I plan to try out with Linda tonight.  I'm excited about it!  I don't know why I didn't think of this type of thing sooner.  Choreographed strength training to Music...duh, it's so obviously my thing!  Here's the playlist:

Air Force Ones (Nelly): Biceps & Triceps
Best Love Song (T-Pain): Legs combo
Dance Again (JLo): Cardio Blast
I Can Only Imagine (David Guetta): Shoulders
Somebody I Used To Know (Glee version): Glutes
Pegate (Grupo Treo): Cardio Blast
Anybody Out There (Knaan): Chest/Back
Titanium (David Guetta): Inner & Outer Thighs
We Run the Night (Pitbull): Abs

So I'll let you know tomorrow how that works out!!

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Special K Shake (180)

L: Hydroxycut
     HC chick bac cheddar (260)
     Peaches (50)

D: Pork Chop (354)
     White Rice (1/2c) (121)
     Asian Medley Veggies (3/4c) (38)

LS: pc of cake (360)

E: Zumba 45 (-500)
Budget:1517 Intake:1362  Burn: 500 Net 862 (-655)

I kinda had the cake because I looked at my calories and realized i was under budget by 1000...figured that wasn't good....   But I was 2 pounds lighter this morning!  Yay!

just, whatever

I'm entirely frustrated right now, and for once it's not all about the weight issue.  It's revolving around the world of dance and my oldest daughter.  I can't even really get into it, but basically, what I want for her I can't give her.  And what I can give her, isn't enough.  And if I could give her more, I don't think she would ever go anywhere else.  I sound oh so very cryptic, don't I?  Ugh....

Anyways...Easter kicked my ass and I gained yet again.  I'm now .6 above my all time high.  Meaning I've reached a new all time high.  Yippee.


Yesterdays Eats:B: Hydroxycut
Special K Shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   HC chick bac cheddar (260)
   Peaches (50)

D: Salmon (361)
     Asparagus (27)
     Stuffing (wtf?) (320)

LS:Baked Scoops and salsa (300)
      small pc of cake (120) (again wtf?)

E: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1517 Intake:1618  Burn: 433 Net 1185 (-322)

I'm teaching Sara's class tonight since she's out of town.  I brought the HR monitor, so I'll get a good idea of my calorie burn, then I have tap class after that.  Hopefully I can post a loss tomorrow.  I need something to pick my spirits up.

yet another rude awakening

I will not traumatize you with the gorey details of my latest eye-opener.  It would be a horrific case of TMI, and I don't think I could verbalize it even if I wanted to...lol.  I'll just say that my current size has interferred in a way I didn't think I would ever let happen.  And my night ended in embarassed and shameful tears.

With all of the 'in my face' motivators around me lately I have had no shortage of reasons to stay on the right path.  Yet, it remains incredibly difficult for me.  I have no excuses, just a lack of willpower or 'stick-to-it-tiveness', if you will.  I'm sure it would help tremendously if I had someone to tell me 'NO fatty, stop putting that in your mouth.'  In reality, it would be simpler if I would just be that person myself.  Actually, that's the ONLY way this will work for me.

Yesterdays Eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Shake  (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   Applebees with Kelly - Parm shrimp & sirloin from the 550 menu (540)

D: Pork Chop (354)
     Au Gratin Potatos (3/4c) (150)
     Asian veggies (3/4c)  (38)

LS:Lemonberry (spring break is killing me...lol but I only got a small portion) (485)

E: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1504 Intake:1746  Burn: 433  Net 1313 (-191)

See?  The exercise allowed the smaller portion of Lemonberry, and my well behaved choice at Applebees paid off.  I was down 1 pound this morning from Monday's weigh in.  It's a small consolation, but positive reinforcement at least.  The hard part will be making choices through the holiday weekend that will still show a loss when I weigh in Monday.  Keep your fingers crossed.

again...my own worst enemy

I'm walking around yesterday thinking how odd my back feels.  Can't quite put my finger on the problem, but something certainly feels funny.  I do some stretches to try to figure out what's going on.  Like a friggin Mack truck it hits me.  Holy. Shit.  That weird feeling in my back is the sensation of my fat rolls touching.  My back fat has met my ass/waist fat, and they are getting acquainted.  My mind frantically races through the various episodes of 'My 600 lb Life' that I have seen.  The crud that gathers in the creases where the fat meets.  Watching them pull apart the rolls to see what horror lies within.  Holy fuck...is this the beginning?   No, no, no, no...this is not happening.  It's no wonder Kelly makes no effort to have sex with me!  This disturbing thought sticks with me all day, and I stick to my eating plan.  Could this be the trigger?  Could this be the rock at the bottom that I've been waiting to hit?

According to the Lemonberry I had last night, the answer is no.

Yesterday's eats:
B: Hydroxycut
Special K Strawberry shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
Healthy Choice Ched. Bac Chicken (240)
Peaches (50)

AS: -

D: Tacos (1026) based on the total of my best guesses (rounded up of course)

LS: Trail Bologna (110)
  Lemonberry (485)

Ex: -
Budget:1504 Intake:2091  Burn: -  Net 1660 (+587)

Lesson here?  I would have been ok with either exercise or no Lemonberry.  Dammit.

It's all on me.

I've said it before, I'll say it again; Losing weight sucks.  And for you weight watchers...yes, lifestyle changes suck too.  So there.  But if it's going to happen, it has to be me that does it.  I can't count on Kelly to tell me not to eat something I shouldn't.  He's really not good at it anyway.  I shouldn't rely on my kids to smack me and yell at me when I want to buy cake at the grocery store.  Although, they are VERY good at that, and I think they enjoy it a bit too much.  Yep, I have to make it work.  I have to make better choices, and hit the gym when I don't want to.  I love Zumba and all, but 2 cardio classes a week is not sufficient exercise.  I need weights, and I need to do it myself. 

I bought a bathing suit...and made sure it was a 2 piece so I could take proper before pictures.  Hopefully I can make Kelly take them tonight, and I'll start that infamous scrapbook this weekend.  Hopefully that bathing suit will start to look more and more attractive on me.  Then maybe I'll actually wear it when we take that vacation we keep talking about...lol.  At that point I can cross off "wear a bikini is public" from my bucket book.

Yesterday's eats:
B: Hydroxycut
     Special K Strawberry shake (180)

L:Hydroxycut
   6" turkey breast sub w/ provolone (380)

AS: Peanut Butter Crackers (190)

D: Strip Steak (526) (not sure on size, but I'll go heavy to be sure)
     Mashed potatos (584) (again with portion)
     Corn (123)

LS: Trail Bologna (110)

Ex: Zumba 45 (-433)
Budget:1504  Intake:2093  Burn:433  Net 1660  (+156)

Should have taken it easy on the potatoes, and nixed the trail bologna...totally un-necessary.  bah.