Cranky...hmph

Yes, I'm cranky.  That's bad news for everyone around me.   My cranky is the type of cranky that just keeps giving.  Since I am usually of good cheer and spreading happy fairy dust everywhere I go, it usually comes as a shock to people when I don't smile when they say hello.  Or when my incredulous 'whatever' follows their 'Good Morning, Stacey!'.  I become a whiner...more so than usual.  It's a pity party and I am the guest of honor.  What I generally want is for people to tell me 'yes that sucks, and I do feel bad for you'.  Luckily I get this at work.  I can vent and Jodi is always there, to lend the shoulder and the ear, and wallow with me.  Never making it seem less worthy by interjecting how awful her day is.  She lets me have my moment, and encourages me without being overly 'oh the world is candy coated and your a go getter and things will be super duper by noon!'.  Come to think of it, I'm kinda like that sometimes and should keep it in check...hmm.  No wonder people tend to roll their eyes at me.  All I get from Kel at home is, stop complaining and do something then.  No chance to vent or commisserate.  Just a heartless, I don't want to hear it, I don't care, who gives a shit 'do something about it'.  Not what I needed.

I'll be on that damn stage dancing in a week.  I have a 3 spanx combo that will hopefully keep my jelly from jiggling uncontrollably.  I will take on the role of the funny fat chick to combat my intense insecurity.  I'm really not looking forward to this, dreading it actually.  I tried to get out of it, but apparently our number is needed to give some of the dancers time to change costumes.  Dammit.  Nothing like an old, fat mom trying to be cool on stage and recapture some of the glory of days gone by when she actually looked good and could rock a stage with a pair of tap shoes.  Now it's just laughable and kind of pathetic.  Hence the funny role.  I don't want anyone to think that I actually take this seriously.  We do it for fun and the chance to get out of the house once a week and have time with friends.  I'm sure if I was 60 pounds lighter, my take on the whole thing would be entirely different.  But now, at my current jovial, busting-at-the-seams weight, it all seems a little superfluous.

So yes, be on guard because the happy, fat chick is not happy.  Best just to quietly tip toe past me.

yep, Tuesday

Happy belated mother's day!  My kids wrote me the most beautiful letters / cards.  I must be doing something right to deserve such great girls!

I thought I blew it last night, then realized when I logged the calories that my dinner was not as much as I thought!  That was a pleasant surprise.  I have a super busy night with dance and homework and projects.  hmm...I guess MY night isn't busy, my girls' night is busy.  Which of course MAKES mine busy...lol.  But I WILL get my workout in...tonight I'm putting together an all upper body routine.  So hopefully I'll be able to pick up my arms tomorrow :)

numbers for 5/14:
Budget: 1507
Food: 1848
Burn: (-556)
Net: 1292
+/- :  (-215)

Barb said that I shouldn't "make up for" calories I burn.  In other words, I should not use exercise as an excuse to eat more.  I need to focus on the quality of calories, not just strictly quantity.  Hence, I should not eat a dark chocolate bar because I have an extra 300 calories to use.  drat.   Makes perfect sense to me.  Hopefully doing so will make the scale move in the direction I want.  Because it has been stagnant at my all time high all week.  Yuck.

Playlist for upper body tonight:
Thrash Unreal - Against me
It's Alright - Ash Tisdale
Everytime We Touch - Cascada
Teenage Anarchist - Against me
She's so Gone - Lemonade Mouth
Out on the Town - Fun.
One Thing
Payphone
We Run the Night
Shake it Out - glee version for cool down stretch.

Good day!

Yesterday eating went well, aside from the fact that I waited to long to eat.  But at this stage of my game, that's a totally minor infraction!  Had my first workout with Barb today.  I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was a good mix of moves that challenged my body, but didn't turn my brain into soup...lol.  I think I'll feel the plank combo more than anything, but we'll see tomorrow.  So that fills my Friday workout void, as I plan to keep up the Friday appts with her.  That gives me Zumba on M, W; Circuit with Linda on Tues, and PT on Friday.  That leaves Thursday and the weekend.  Thursday may be on an off day, with Saturday being an extra circuit day and outdoor walk.  I may even start training to run another 5K, maybe a 10K.  But with the extra weight, running gets painful.  So we'll start with walking and move on from there when the weight starts coming off.  Plus I have my afternoon walks at work.  So I have the workouts in line....

...now to work on the eating portion...  eek.

Yesterday 5/10:
Budget: 1533
Intake:  1461
Burn:    (-395)
Net:      1066
+/-        (-467)

I did not have Lemonberry yesterday...but I'm budgeting calories for it tonight.  Kel and I are going to see Avengers, and I plan on hitting LB on the way home.  And I WILL log it!

Warmer weather!

Thankfully the season is breaking, and the temps are slowly but surely rising.  This is surely a good thing, because I can now go on walks during my lunch breaks at work.  And my handy new phone app Runmeter makes it totally easy to log, map, and keep track of my stats on my route.  Definitely a good purchase!

I'm making strides in my workouts as well!  Writing my own routines to music has made it much more enjoyable to workout.  Having Linda come down also keeps me going.  It's like I'm teaching a class, so I keep going and am totally motivated.  I cleaned out the basement and moved all my equipment down there.  I also moved the TV and DVD player down there.  So if I have a day where I didn't have a workout written, I can pop in one of the mulititude of DVDs I own. I'm slowly getting rid of all my excuses....lol. 

Starting tomorrow I will begin training with Barb.  She's a fellow dance mom, and a PT.  It's only $25 for an hour.  Much less than I was paying before.  Barb is a fitness nut, and I know she'll put me through my paces.  And she knows that I teach and workout, so I know she won't take it easy on me, or let me slack off.  And since I see her outside of workouts...I will hear it from her if I miss a day!

I've been away from the blog, and the scale numbers crept up.  After being good this week, they're back down a bit, but I'm really going to make sure it sticks.  I do want to get Lemonberry since cake batter is back, but I'll plan for it so it doesn't sabotage me.  I can't deprive myself completely, because that's what'll make me miserable and make me slip.

I won't bore you with what I ate yesterday...as I don't feel like typing the usual stuff.  But here's the numbers:

Budget: 1533
Food: 1938
Exercise: (-738)
Net: 1200
+/- : (-333)

tonights workout playlist:
Dance Again - Jlo
Starships - Nikki
Part of Me - Katy
Walk Over Me - All Amer Rej.
Country Grammar - Nelly
I Can Only Imagine - Guetta
It's Alright - Ashley Tisdale
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
One Thing - One Direction
Lover, Lover - Jarrod Niemann
Down - J Sean
7 - Prince
Bare Foot Blue Jean - Jake Owen